Monday, October 6, 2008

No Touching!

Times Colonist [Victoria, BC, Canada]
6 October 2008

When Paul Newman dropped in

Michael D. Reid, Times Colonist

[John Olson used to own a nightclub in Victoria's Strathcona Hotel called The Sting.]

[...] One of The Sting's fun features, Olson recalls, was in the ladies room. It had upholstered toilets and, above the sinks, a framed picture of a naked Burt Reynolds. A sign on a tiny hinged door installed over Burt's naughty bits warned: "Do not lift."

"Two or three women would go in at the same time and they'd giggle," Olson recalls, chuckling.

"They usually couldn't stand it so one had to go and lift it. It set off a siren and a red light lit up on the outside door so everyone in the club knew." [...]

Art Linkletter, Oops!; or, Life's Awful Moments (Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1967), pp. 149-50.

Curiosity was the undoing of a North Carolina woman in her fifties who was on a trip with her family and stopped for dinner in Denver, Colorado. It was a very beautiful restaurant, she told me, and when she went into the ladies' room, she saw a carved statue of a nude man in a fig leaf standing by the commode. Above the statue was this inscription: "Caution. Do not touch fig leaf." Unable to resist, she slowly raised her finger and flipped the fig leaf. It swung to one side -- and an alarm bell went off that could be heard a city block. Realizing she'd been trapped in a practical joke, she looked for another exit, but there wasn't even a window to crawl through. Finally she got up enough nerve to open the door, and walked into a crowd of diners who were all in on the gag. The waitress was also shaking with laughter. "Am I the only women who ever rang the bell?" she asked. "Oh no, dear," said the waitress. "Much older ones than you."
Reader's Digest Treasury of Wit & Humor (Montreal: The Reader's Digest Association (Canada), 1958), p. 72.

A woman visiting in Florida one winter was taken by friends to one of the plush resort night clubs. When she entered the rest room she discovered a large mural of Adam, wearing only a fig leaf. A sign warned customers: "Do Not Lift the Fig Leaf." But the visitor's feminine curiosity got the better of her, and she upped the leaf.

Bells began to ring, sirens sounded, plaster fell and bedlam set in. She turned and ran out the rest-room door -- only to be blinded by a giant spotlight, while the orchestra blared fanfares. -- Bob Walling, quoted by Ronald Furse in Plattsmouth, Neb. Journal