Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Car Crashes & Penectomies

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/5/5/nation/3830725&sec=nation

The Star [Malaysia]
5 May 2009

Secretary accidentally bites off boss' penis

A SECRETARY accidentally bit off the penis of her employer while giving him oral sex in a car.

Sin Chew Daily and China Press reported yesterday that while the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on the man, the car was hit by a reversing van.

The impact of the crash, China Press reported, caused the woman to bite off her lover’s organ. [...]

[Cf. Gershon Legman, Rationale of the Dirty Joke, Second Series (1975), 438; Robert Pollock, Good Luck, Mr Gorsky (1999), 62. Pollock also includes a sex-reversed variant in which a boy bites off his girlfriend's nipple when their parked car is hit by a drunk driver (p. 61).]

Mainichi Shimbun [Japan]
30 Aug 2003

WaiWai

Red-faced love hotel antics bite to the bone

By Ryann Connell
Staff Writer

[…] Love hotels throughout Japan are apparently rushing to carry out repairs to improve their image. Perhaps some of their customers need to take similar action, based on what Shukan Jitsuwa (9/11) has to report.

[…] Sometimes, customers don't even need to get into a love hotel to emerge red-faced.

"We're a fairly popular hotel, so on Friday nights customers often have to wait in their cars in the parking lot until a room becomes available. Some of the couples find the wait a bit too long and get to work in their cars," an Osaka love hotel manager tells Shukan Jitsuwa. "One day, one of those impatient couples were waiting at the end of a line when the girl started performing fellatio on her partner. While she was at it, a car drove up behind them and failed to notice the line, crashing into their vehicle. The bump caused the girl to bite. The poor guy was drenched in his own blood and had to be taken to the hospital. If they'd only waited a little bit longer, something like this would never have happened."

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John Irving, The World According to Garp (Modern Library, 1998 [1978]), pp. 422-3.

Helen's mouth was snapped shut with such force that she broke two teeth and required two neat stitches in her tongue.

At first she thought she had bitten her tongue off, because she could feel it swimming in her mouth, which was full of blood; but her head ached so severely that she didn't dare open her mouth, until she had to breathe, and she couldn't move her right arm. She spat what she thought was her tongue into the palm of her left hand. It wasn't her tongue, of course. It was what amounted to three quarters of Michael Milton's penis.