Perfume Attacks (St Helens, UK)

http://www.sthelensreporter.co.uk/st-helens-news/A-real-stinker-police-probe.5651001.jp

St Helens Reporter [UK]
16 September 2009

A real stinker: police probe fable of crooked perfume salesman

By Chris Amery

It may be a tale as old as the hills - but the story of a dodgy perfume salesman drugging and robbing unsuspecting female shoppers has been given new life in St Helens.

Stories circulating that the elaborate scam is being operated outside Asda's popular Kirkland Street store have even prompted police to investigate and local councillors to issue warnings in their official minutes. [...]

Phone Masts Could Poison Food (Bahrain)

http://www.gulf-daily-news.com/newsdetails.aspx?srch=1&storyid=258745

Gulf Daily News [Bahrain]
2 September 2009

Row over illegal phone masts

By MOHAMMED AL A'ALI

MUNICIPAL councillors will vote today whether to seek an urgent court order to remove illegal phone masts on rooftops in Muharraq, which have caused violent clashes between neighbours.

Muharraq Municipal Council has been bombarded with calls from residents complaining about neighbours, who are paid by telecommunication companies to set up masts at their homes or buildings.

There have been violent clashes between neighbours amid rumours that emissions from the masts could poison food. [...]

Jelly Bracelets, Shag Bands, etc.

http://www.dailycamera.com/news/ci_13312346

Daily Camera [Boulder, CO]
10 September 2009

Lafayette middle school discourages jelly bracelets, citing sexual meanings

By Vanessa Miller
Camera Staff Writer

The principal of Lafayette's Angevine Middle School is asking parents to discourage their children from wearing colored jelly bracelets to school because of rumors that they carry sexual meanings. [...]

http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/Sex-band-outrage.5641787.jp

The Star [UK]
12 September 2009

Sex band outrage

By Kate Lahive

AN OUTRAGED South Yorkshire mum has hit out at a sexually-explicit children's fashion craze which is sweeping the nation.

Youngsters up and down the country are sporting so-called 'shag bands' - bendy plastic wrist bangles which look just like innocent friendship bracelets and come in an array of trendy neon colours.

But the idea behind them is the wearer twists two of the bands together - and then jokingly agrees to sleep with whoever gets close enough to snap the bands apart. [...]

http://www.sheffieldtelegraph.co.uk/headlines/Childrens-shag-band-fashion-craze.5644199.jp
Sheffield Telegraph [UK]
14 September 2009
Children's 'shag band' fashion craze outrage

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215712/Thousands-young-children-buying-coloured-wristbands-week-But-parents-idea-true-disturbing-meaning-.html
Daily Mail [UK]
24 September 2009
Thousands of young children are buying coloured wristbands every week. But parents have no idea of their true disturbing meaning...
By Sadie Nicholas

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/09/25/band-them-115875-21698898/
Daily Mirror [UK]
25 September 2009
Fury over 'sex' bracelets sold to school children
By Euan Stretch

http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/features/Jayne-Dowle-Why-my-boy.5682529.jp
Yorkshire Post [UK]
27 September 2009
Jayne Dowle: Why my boy in the bands doesn't need a slap on the wrist
By Jayne Dowle

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26131516-1248,00.html
The Courier-Mail [Australia]
27 September 2009
Shag bands a parent's worst nightmare
By Carly Hennessy

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/2658958/Bracelet-which-means-your-child-is-having-SEX.html
The Sun [UK]
29 September 2009
Bracelet which means your child is having SEX
By Dulcie Pearce

[As a bonus, the Sun article also contains a warning about rainbow parties.]

http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/Pressure-growing-to-ban-sex.5693898.jp

The Star [South Yorkshire, UK]

1 October 2009

Pressure growing to ban sex bands

By Kate Lahive

PRESSURE is growing for a ban on a sexually explicit children's fashion craze sweeping the nation - after The Star highlighted the playground trend that has horrified parents. [...]

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2009/10/11/should-these-shag-bands-be-banned-91466-24899641/

Wales on Sunday
11 October 2009

Should these ‘shag bands’ be banned?

by Clare Hutchinson, Wales On Sunday

CHILDREN as young as SIX are wearing bracelets advertising their sexual availability.

The brightly-coloured rubber bands – known as shag bands – are the latest craze to sweep playgrounds across Wales. [...]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/8274178.stm

BBC News [UK]
25 September 2009

MP calls for 'sex bracelet' ban

[...] Wakefield MP Mary Creagh, who was elected in May 2005, wants under 16s banned from buying the items. [...]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_west/8285754.stm

BBC News [UK]
2 October 2009

County schools ban 'sex' bracelet

Coloured plastic bracelets claimed to encourage promiscuity among youngsters will be banned from a county's schools.

Carmarthenshire council said it was the first in Wales to stop pupils wearing the bands around their wrists. [...]

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6910040.ece

The Times [UK]
10 November 2009

Would you let your daughter wear a "shag band"?

Chloe Lambert

http://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/localnews/4752676.Call_for__sex_bracelets__to_be_banned/
Dorset Echo [UK]
21 November 2009
Call for 'sex bracelets' to be banned
By Miriam Phillips

http://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/4756002.Parents__horror_over__sex_bands__at_Weymouth_and_Portland_schools/
Dorset Echo [UK]
24 November 2009
Parents' horror over 'sex bands' at Weymouth and Portland schools
By Laura Kitching and Miriam Phillips

http://www.lep.co.uk/news/39Sex-act39-wristbands-withdrawn-from.5868550.jp
Lancashire Evening Post [UK]
30 November 2009
'Sex act' wristbands withdrawn from toy shops
By Melanie Wallwork

http://www.wigantoday.net/wigannews/Sex-bracelets-concern.5880657.jp
Wigan Today [UK]
3 December 2009
'Sex' bracelets concern
By Natalie Walker

Who Is Worse Than John Mellencamp?

http://dir.salon.com/story/ent/music/int/2003/06/30/mellencamp/index.html

Salon

30 June 2003

Ain't that America?

By Eric Boehlert

[...] [John Mellencamp:] When the song first came out I was in the car one day and we were driving to the airport and I had my kids with me and a radio station was playing "To Washington" and having callers call in. Some guy comes on and says, "I don't know who I hate the most, John Mellencamp or Osama bin Laden." My kids heard that and my 9-year-old said, "Dad, are they talking about you? Why are people mad at you?" [...]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A41894-2004Dec6.html

The Washington Post

7 December 2004, p. C01

The Blue in Blue-Collar
Despite Backlash, John Mellencamp Continues to Fight Authority

By Sean Daly
Washington Post Staff Writer

[...] He leans forward, his voice a whisper: "I got so much [bleepin' stuff] over that song. I was in the car going to the airport with my boys and my wife, and they were playing the record on the radio. As soon as the song was over, they took callers, like they were rating the record on Dick Clark. The first call was some hillbilly going, 'I don't know who I hate the worse now, John Mellencamp or Saddam Hussein.' My kids heard that!" [...]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[I've no reason to doubt Mellencamp's anecdote, even though he can't decide if he was compared to Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden. -- bc]

Dumb Tourist Questions (Banff, Alberta)

http://www.calgaryherald.com/travel/dumb+Questions/1941644/story.html

Calgary Herald [Alberta, Canada]
29 August 2009

20 dumb Questions

At what elevation do deer turn into elk? That's just one of the many silly questions Banff tour operators hear on the job

By Lisa Monforton, Calgary Herald

The Body in the Farmer's Pickling Box

http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/57354722.html?elr=KArksUUUycaEacyU

Star Tribune [Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN]
7 September 2009

What really happened to Clell Miller's body?

By PEG MEIER, Special to the Star Tribune

[In 1876 medical student Henry Wheeler shot dead bank robber Clell Miller, then got possession of his cadaver for his medical school. But before the body was shipped to the University of Michigan, the story goes, it was stored temporarily in a farmer's pickling box.]

[...] Soon after, a young Swedish immigrant who had worked for the farmer that summer showed up to collect his wages. The farmer explained that no one -- repeat, no one -- was paid until the wheat crop was marketed. The young man was persistent. Again, he demanded his pay.

So the farmer took the hired man out to the barn. He pulled an old horse blanket off the top of the pickling box, pointed to Miller's decaying corpse and said, "That is the last man who asked me for his pay before he was entitled to it."

Cobra Kills Store Customer (Thailand, 2002)

http://www.phuketgazette.net/dailynews/index.asp?Id=1986

Phuket Gazette [Thailand]
19 March 2002

Cobra tale ‘poisonous nonsense’ – Super Cheap

PHUKET TOWN: The Managing Director of Phuket Town’s famed Super Cheap emporium admitted to being furious today about what he sees as a venomous whispering campaign, probably inspired by business rivals.

The story going the rounds yesterday and today was that a 40-year-old woman shopping at Super Cheap went to take onions from a display in the vegetables section. As she dug around for good ones, she felt a sharp pain on the back of her hand. [...]

[She died from a cobra bite. Seventy cobra eggs were found in a nest underneath the onions.]

Ribbons on Cabs Indicate Support for the Taliban

http://www.halifaxcourier.co.uk/news/Myth-of-the-39taliban39-ribbons.5619902.jp

Halifax Evening Courier [UK]
5 September 2009

Myth of the 'taliban' ribbons: Police deny cabbies' tags show loyalty to extremists

By Emily Heward

POLICE have crushed rumours that black ribbons hanging from Halifax cabs are symbols of support for the Taliban. [...]

Syringe Attacks (Urumqi, China)

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5j794twyjYyjeOIdsKWwzCUhsgvUAD9AFTK6O0

The Associated Press
3 September 2009

Syringe attacks spark new protest in Chinese city

By CHRISTOPHER BODEEN (AP)

BEIJING — Hundreds of Chinese protested deteriorating public safety Thursday after a series of mysterious syringe attacks further unnerved residents in the western Chinese city of Urumqi where ethnic rioting in July killed nearly 200 people. [...]

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/03/content_11991116.htm

Xinhua [China]
3 September 2009

Tens of thousands of protesters demand security guarantees in Urumqi after hypodermic syringe attacks

URUMQI, Sept.3 (Xinhua) -- Crowds gathered at a number of sites in downtown Urumqi Thursday to protest against hypodermic syringe attacks in the capital city of Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region and demanded security guarantees from authorities. [...]

Police said that attacks with syringes against innocent people have been carried out in Urumqi since Aug. 17. The regional health department said 476 people have sought treatment for stabbing, of whom 89 were showing obvious signs of needle sites. At Sept. 2, there had been no deaths reported and no symptoms have been found of infectious disease viruses or toxic chemicals. [...]

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/04/content_11996180.htm

Xinhua [China]
4 September 2009

Urumqi protesters confront police over syringe attacks

URUMQI, Sept. 4 (Xinhua) -- Urumqi residents confronted armed police Friday during protests against further hypodermic needle attacks as uncertainty stalked the streets of the city. [...]

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5j794twyjYyjeOIdsKWwzCUhsgvUAD9AGM3LG0
Associated Press
5 September 2009
China blames Muslim separatists for needle attacks

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/05/content_12001771.htm
Xinhua [China]
5 September 2009
4 prosecuted for endangering public security in Urumqi syringe attacks

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/05/content_11998630.htm
Xinhua [China]
5 September 2009
Police chief stresses stability as situation in Urumqi comes under control

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/05/content_12001983.htm

Xinhua [China]
5 September 2009

Chinese medical experts examine Urumqi syringe attacks victims

URUMQI, Sept. 5 (Xinhua) -- Chinese military medical experts on Saturday said that it was too early to say victims in recent syringe attacks in Urumqi City had contracted diseases related to radioactive substance, anthrax and toxic chemical as rumors had it. [...]

http://www.reuters.com/article/americasCrisis/idUSPEK351541
Reuters
6 September 2009
China's Urumqi still edgy after officials sacked

http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSTRE5821PT20090907?pageNumber=2&virtualBrandChannel=0
Reuters
7 September 2009
China threatens punishment for rumors in Urumqi
By Royston Chan

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2009-09/09/content_8669084.htm

China Daily
9 September 2009

Syringe attacks persist in Urumqi

URUMQI: Police said they received 77 reports of syringe attacks between 5 pm Sunday and 5 pm Monday in Urumqi, the capital of Xinjiang Uygur autonomous region, despite authorities warning attackers they might face the death penalty. [...]

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2009-09/11/content_8678972.htm
China Daily
11 September 2009
Syringe suspects seized in Xinjiang
By Cui Jia and Cai Ke (China Daily)

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5j794twyjYyjeOIdsKWwzCUhsgvUAD9AL3BE80
The Associated Press
11 September 2009
New needle attacks reported in Chinese cities
By TINI TRAN (AP)

http://www.reuters.com/article/latestCrisis/idUSSP440905
Reuters
11 September 2009
Needle attacks and rumours spread in China's Xinjiang
By Lucy Hornby

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/11/content_12036148.htm
Xinhua [China]
11 September 2009
Xinjiang hospital offers psychological counselling for needle attack victims

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6830250.ece
The Times [London]
11 September 2009
Panic over syringe stabbings spreads to Beijing
Jane Macartney, China Correspondent

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/12/content_12040517.htm
Xinhua [China]
12 September 2009
Suspects sentenced over needle attacks in Urumqi

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/13/content_12046231.htm
Xinhua [China]
13 September 2009
Tests find no infections in Xinjiang needle attack victims

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/15/content_12057712.htm
Xinhua [China]

15 September 2009
Police capture 75 suspects of Xinjiang syringe attacks

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-09/17/content_12070266.htm
Xinhua [China]
17 September 2009
Four sentenced over syringe attack in Urumqi

The Sandpaper Man

Eleanor Wachs, Crime-victim Stories: New York City's Urban Folklore (Bloomington & Indianapolis: Indiana University Press, 1988), p. 36.

[This account comes from a female social worker from Brooklyn, who insisted that it was true. -- bc]

She's a very articulate woman -- when she went blind four years ago, she really got herself together. She's very independent -- she's totally blind, but she is mobile. She gets around, does what she has to do. She went through a bad depression, except nothing stops her. She took mobility training, and she's independently strong -- very wonderful woman. And she's really a kind, generous woman. She went home from the agency, and then the doorbell rang. And she has a chain on her door, and she just opened the door. Someone said it was a messenger or something, and she didn't really question it. She opened the door -- this guy grabbed her entire arm and took sandpaper and just started scratching her entire arm up and down. And he told her to break the chain or he's gonna ruin her arm with this sandpaper. And she just tried as much as she could not to present herself as a victim, you know, the idea that you can't be hurt, or that you can't be treated as a victim if you don't present yourself like a victim. So what she did was she grabbed the guy's arm and said, "You have no right treating me like this! Who the hell do you think you are?" She grabbed his hand, and with all her energy she took his fingers with all her strength and broke them all -- all his fingers broke like spaghetti. And he ran off. She called the cops. And they picked him up a few hours later because he went to an emergency room in a hospital because he had five broken fingers. She refused to be a victim.

No Flushing in Newark

http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20090829/NEWS03/908290338

The News Journal [Delaware]

29 August 2009

Newark (can) flush with returning UD students
City's population doubles today, but the water-pressure legend is a myth

By ROBIN BROWN

By Newark folklore, today's return of college kids tells locals one thing: You can't flush.

University of Delaware's annual return morphs the town of about 15,000 full-time residents into a college city nearing 35,000, with a proportional rise in plumbing use.

Rick Armitage, UD director of government relations, said he has heard locals couldn't flush the day students come back since he came as a student in 1969. [...]

A Letter of Introduction

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/29425/29425-h/29425-h.htm

The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Confessions of a Caricaturist, Vol. 1 (of 2), by Harry Furniss

Harry Furniss, The Confessions of a Caricaturist, vol. 1 (New York & London: Harper & Brothers, 1902), p. 34

A propos of letters of introduction, I am reminded of a brother artist, who, although a caricaturist, was entirely devoid of guile, and, in addition, was as absent-minded as the popularly-accepted type of ardent scientist or professor of ultra-abstruse subject. Well, this curious species of satirist was setting forth on travels in foreign climes, and in order to lighten in some measure the vicissitudes inseparable from peripatetic wandering, he was provided with a letter of introduction to a certain British consul. The writer of this letter enclosed it in one to my friend, in which he said that he would find the consul a most arrant snob, and a bumptious, arrogant humbug as well—in fact, a cad to the backbone; but that he (my friend) was not to mind this, for, as he could claim acquaintanceship with several dukes and duchesses, all he had to do was to trot out their names for the edification of the consul, who would then render him every attention, and thus compensate him to some extent for having to come into contact with such an insufferable vulgarian. On the return of the guileless satirist to England the writer of the letter of introduction inquired how he had fared with the consul, and great was his surprise to hear him drawl out, in his habitual lethargic manner:

"Well, my dear fellow, he did not receive me very warmly, and he did not ask me to dinner. In fact, he struck me as being rather cool."

"Well, you do surprise me!" rejoined his friend. "He's a horrible cad, as I told you in my letter, but he's awfully hospitable, and I really can't understand what you tell me. You gave him my letter of introduction?"

"Well, I thought so," said my friend; "but, do you know, on my journey home I discovered it in my pocket-book, so I must have handed him instead your note to me about him!"

Kennedy Never Worked a Day in His Life

[This profile of Ted Kennedy originally appeared in the September 1968 issue of Esquire.]

http://www.esquire.com/features/the-last-kennedy-0968

Esquire
26 August 2009

The Last Kennedy

By Burton Hersh

[...] One September evening in 1962, having just proposed to open his political career as the Junior Senator from Massachusetts, Kennedy glanced up from his prepared remarks to hear the issue of his candidacy itself being laid open savagely by his upset opponent. "What are your qualifications for the United States Senate?" Edward J. McCormack was intoning across a South Boston auditorium platform. "You graduated from law school three years ago. You never worked for a living. You have never run for or held elective office." [...]

Kennedy himself, as things worked out, profited immediately and measurably from an enormous sympathy backlash. He sensed the effect a couple of days afterward when, as he was campaigning at the door of a factory at quitting time, a seasoned old laborer asked suddenly, "Is it true, like I heard, that you never worked a day in your life, Kennedy?"

The candidate mumbled something to the effect that he hadn't worked much with his hands, really...

"Well let me tell ya somethin', kid," the seasoned old laborer said, "ya sure ain't missed a hell of a lot."

From that instant, Kennedy realized, he had his seat in the Senate. [...]

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view/20090827ted_kennedys_legacy_not_as_heroic_as_some_might_think/srvc=home&position=5

Boston Herald
27 August 2009

Ted Kennedy’s legacy not as heroic as some might think

By Howie Carr

[...] There’s a story, perhaps apocryphal, that in his first Senate campaign in 1962, Kennedy was shaking hands at a factory-gate during a shift change. A haggard worker began berating him about how he’d never worked a day in his life. According to the legend, at that point another salt-of-the-earth blue-collar type leaned in and told Kennedy, “Never worked a day in your life, kid? You ain’t missed a thing.” [...]

Movie Shoot

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/meza-allaway-says-2540700-years-students

Orange County Register [CA]
25 August 2009

CSUF killing spree spurs documentary
Film student spends three years chronicling the 1976 slayings.

By GREG HARDESTY
The Orange County Register

[Edward Allaway shot dead seven people and wounded two others at Cal State Fullerton in 1976. One of the rumors surrounding the murders is that the victims were the cast and crew of a porn movie being shot in the library's basement.]

Worthless Bottle

[It's possible that some people will later claim to have seen this humiliating incident on TV. -- bc]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/aug/24/decca-aitkenhead-fiona-bruce

The Guardian [UK]
24 August 2009

Fiona Bruce: 'If you look like the back end of a bus, you won't get the job.'

Decca Aitkenhead
The Guardian

During filming of the new Antiques Roadshow series, a man presented a glass bottle he had recently bought from an antiques shop. He had paid a considerable sum – more than £1,000 – and felt confident that it was worth more. He was smartly dressed and well-spoken, and appeared to know what he was talking about. The show's glass expert examined the bottle, consulted a colleague, and delivered his verdict. "I'm afraid it's an empty olive oil bottle, Tesco, circa 2008. It's worth nothing at all."

Fiona Bruce actually winces as she recalls the moment. "Now I suppose we could have broadcast it – but it was just too cruel. The guy was devastated." But surely, I exclaim, that would have been the money shot. "It is the money shot," she agrees. "But he was devastated, this man. And it would – well, it would have been too cruel." [...]

Stolen Dogs Found in Peru Medical School Lab

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE57K3GG20090821

Reuters
21 August 2009

Stolen dogs found in Peru medical school lab

By Madelyn Fairbanks

LIMA (Reuters) - At least two stolen dogs were found in an operating room used for dissections at the medical school of South America's oldest university, but its dean denied relying on dognappers to collect specimens for classes. [...]

Portland, Maine, Has the Most Restaurants Per Capita

http://www.mainebiz.biz/news45040.html

Mainebiz [Maine]
18 August 2009

Does Portland have more restaurants per capita than San Francisco?

By Whit Richardson
Mainebiz New Media Editor

For years, the claim that Portland has the highest or second highest number of restaurants per capita behind San Francisco has been passed around like so many chain letters -- so many times, in fact, that no one really knows where it came from let alone its veracity. [...]

Holy Dog Bowl

http://www.sundaysun.co.uk/lifestyle-news/newstest/2009/08/23/doggies-welcome-79310-24501805/

Sunday Sun [UK]

23 August 2009

Doggies welcome

by Mieka Smiles, Sunday Sun

[...] Rob Flower, head of visitor operations for English Heritage in Northumberland said: “Many of our sites are sacred and protected historic monuments, carefully conserved and protected and a big part of the organisation’s role is ensuring that our sites are accessible and open to as many visitors as possible, but unfortunately not everyone realises that nearly all of our sites do welcome dogs. I’ll never forget an anecdote from a member of staff at Lindisfarne Priory, who was changing the water in the dog bowl that we keep by the entrance.

“She politely held the door open for some visitors and, as they filed past her, they dipped their hands in the dog bowl, assuming it was some kind of holy ritual for visiting the priory! [...]

Cheating Husband's Porsche For Sale By Wife

http://birmingham.gumtree.com/birmingham/33/44009733.html

Gumtree [UK]

Birmingham used cars for sale

Urgent My soon-to-be ex husband's Porsche for cheap sale (£2,000)

Date posted: Friday 21st August

Ad viewed: 19256 times
Location: Solihull

Last week, I caught my husband having it off with our babysitter in our Porsche (actually, MY Porsche as I bloody paid for it) so I'm selling his beloved car for £200! See how the prick likes that!

I’d been to my mum’s but came back early ‘cos I had a bit of a fallout with her. The children were in bed. My husband wasn’t. I thought he was in the study. I went down to the kitchen and heard something in the garage. I thought it was a rat. It was a blooming rat alright – my husband with our babysitter. She’s barely 17! I treated her like my own daughter.

He told me it didn’t mean anything. Oh so that’s makes it OK, then? It sounds crazy but I would have preferred it if it actually meant something. Why risk 15 years of marriage for anything less?

Oh it’s not the first time he’s slept around. Only difference is I was stupid enough to think he’d changed. Every single time, like the hopeful naïve cow that I was, I gave him another chance. Deep down, I knew he wouldn’t change – he’d done it too many times. But I went along with it for the kids, for the sanctity of a marriage, for ‘what will the neighbours think?’, for the weather, for the Burger King deal down the road.

Well, no more. NO MORE. I’ve had it. The penny’s finally dropped (and I hope his balls do too...on a bed of rusty nails).

I’m done. I’m done trying. I tried. I failed. And I want out. But not without getting some of my own back. Not after everything the idiot’s put me through over the years.

As a little bonus to the buyer I’m also putting his prized wine collection in the boot of the Porsche.

And for my babysitter, I left a little hot surprise for her and her new sugar daddy. I rubbed pepper sauce over every condom wrapper I could find in the house. That should give them a night to remember.

I suggest you act quick as a Porsche going for £2000 isn't going to be here for long

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2601379/Betrayed-wife-sells-husbands-Porsche.html
The Sun [UK]

22 August 2009
Cheater's Porsche on the market
By ANDREW PARKER

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6070523/Spurned-wife-sells-cheating-husbands-Porsche-for-a-song.html
Daily Telegraph [UK]

22 August 2009
Spurned wife sells cheating husband's Porsche for a song
By Murray Wardrop

Cut and Caned

Sydney Morning Herald
21 August 2009

Column 8

[...] Forensics and school punishments combine in this remarkable anecdote from Athol Greenhalgh, of Narraweena [...]: ''A story from my father who would have been at school in Newcastle in the 1920s,'' Athol writes. ''The teacher was doing a chemistry demonstration at the front of the room using glass equipment. It suddenly exploded, showering the room and students with glass fragments. The students trooped over the road to the nearest doctor and returned to class after repairs had been carried out. The teacher then inspected them all -- those with cuts to the back of their heads or behind their ears were promptly caned. They were irrefutable evidence that they had not been paying attention at the critical moment.'' [...]

Motorcycle Stolen Piece by Piece

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3448468.html?menu=news.quirkies

Ananova [UK]
20 August 2009

Man stole motorbike - part by part

A Chinese man was arrested for stealing a motorcycle - part by part over five years from the factory where he worked. [...]

Palestinians' Organs Harvested

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iSYpeLo9EP1NAwa_SduklhjH4znAD9A62EFG0

The Associated Press
19 August 2009

Israel furious over Swedish newspaper article

By MATTI FRIEDMAN (AP)

JERUSALEM — Israel and the Swedish Embassy responded furiously Wednesday to a Swedish newspaper article that suggested Israeli troops killed Palestinians and harvested their organs.

The article published Monday in Aftonbladet, Sweden's largest circulation daily, implies a link between those charges and the recent arrest in the U.S. of an American Jew for illicit organ trafficking. Later the reporter told Israel Radio he did not know if the allegations were true. [...]

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1249418641250&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

Jerusalem Post
19 August 2009

Israel aghast at Swedish report on IDF

By HERB KEINON

Israeli Ambassador to Sweden Benny Dagan was expected to speak to the Swedish Foreign Ministry on Wednesday to protest the publication of an article in the country's newspaper Aftonbladet that accused IDF soldiers of abducting Palestinians to steal their organs. [...]

http://www.aftonbladet.se/kultur/article5652583.ab
Aftonbladet [Sweden]
18 August 2009
”Vara soner plundras pa sina organ”

http://www.palestinechronicle.com/view_article_details.php?id=15377
The Palestine Chronicle

23 August 2009
Our Sons Plundered for their Organs
By Donald Boström
[English translation of article originally published in Aftonbladet on 18 August.]

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3765992,00.html
Ynet News [Israel]

23 August 2009
Swedish daily publishes second article on 'IDF organ harvesting'

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1249418678153&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull
Jerusalem Post

23 August 2009
'Aftonbladet' publishes article defending 'organ-theft' report

http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/article5680904.ab
Aftonbladet [Sweden]

23 August 2009
”Mamma har aldrig slutat lida, aldrig slutat undra”

On top of Marilyn Monroe

William Poundstone, Biggest Secrets (New York: Quill, 1993), p. 258.

Urban legend tells of a man who was so enamored of Marilyn Monroe that he bought the empty crypt above hers. Eventually the man died and was placed in the crypt. A few friends lingered at the funeral until everyone else had left. Then they honored the dead man's last request. They turned the body face down, on top of Monroe for eternity.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-marilyn14-2009aug14,0,2135061.story

Los Angeles Times

14 August 2009

For sale: eternity with Marilyn Monroe

Elsie Poncher wants to sell the crypt, now occupied by her husband, above the actress to help pay off her Beverly Hills mortgage. Her starting price on EBay: $500,000.

By Jeff Gottlieb

[...] When he was dying, Elsie said, her husband approached her with a request. "He said, 'If I croak, if you don't put me upside down over Marilyn, I'll haunt you the rest of my life.' "

Right after the funeral, Elsie said, she told the funeral director of her husband's wish. "I was standing right there, and he turned him over," she said. [...]

Woman's Leg Sawn Off (Australia)

http://www.esperanceexpress.com.au/news/local/news/general/no-chainsaw-massacre/1595194.aspx

The Esperance Express [Australia]
14 August 2009

No chainsaw massacre

ESPERANCE Police have set the record straight about the talk around town of a ‘chainsaw massacre’.

Rumours have been circulating about a woman’s leg being sawn off by a man with a chainsaw a few weeks ago.

Esperance Police Senior Sergeant Paul Humphries said that police have had no such reports.

“If there was a death in such circumstances we would definitely know about it,” he said.

Chinese Cannibalism Hoax

http://china.globaltimes.cn/society/2009-08/456744.html

Global Times [China]
12 August 2009

Prison on menu for 'cannibal' rumor bloggers

By Wen Ya

Police in Guangdong Province have arrested four people they allege are behind a grisly cannibalism Internet hoax.

Provincial Public Security Department announced on its website Monday they had tracked down the men behind a blog which posted graphic photos of a corpse being prepared for consumption by “cannibals.”

The sickening website authors also claimed cannibals were responsible for more than 10 missing residents in their town. [...]

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Asia/Story/STIStory_415722.html
Straits Times [Singapore]
12 August 2009
Arrested over cannibal hoax

Bar mitzvah blowjobs

http://www.brandeis.edu/hbi/614/article3a.html

614 [Hadassah-Brandeis Institute]
July 2009

Sex and the Suburbs
Find out what Monica Lewinsky has to do with bar mitzvah gifts.

by Shulamit Reinharz

[...] These questions came to mind recently when a woman in her seventies began sharing her concern with me about the custom in her granddaughter's prep school; Jewish girls were giving Jewish boys blowjobs as bar mitzvah presents! Presumably because they've already got everything else. [...]

LOL

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203674704574328920789548170.html

Wall Street Journal
6 August 2009

Quick! Tell Us What KUTGW Means

By STEPHANIE RAPOSO

[...] Cassandra McSparin, 23, of Jim Thorpe, Pa., knew a woman whose friend's mother had died. The woman texted her friend: "I'm so sorry to hear about your mother passing away. LOL. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

It turns out she thought LOL meant "Lots of love."

http://comics.com/zack_hill/2009-01-12

John Deering and John Newcombe, "Zack Hill", 12 January 2009

http://comics.com/zack_hill/2009-01-13

John Deering and John Newcombe, "Zack Hill", 13 January 2009

[After getting a text message from her friend announcing that his cat has just died, a woman responds with "LOL," thinking it means "Lots of love."]

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/opinions/omg-how-obsolete-am-i/article1410924/

The Globe and Mail [Toronto, Canada]
26 December 2009

OMG, how obsolete am I? [column]

Margaret Wente

I exchange a lot of e-mail with a certain friend of mine, whom I'll call A. A is quite expressive, and until recently she concluded her e-mails by writing, “LOL, A.”

Eventually she discovered her mistake – but only after sending several condolence messages to a newly bereaved friend. “LOL,” she wrote tenderly, not knowing that LOL generally stands for “laughing out loud.” “I feel terrible,” she groaned. “I always thought it stood for ‘lots of love.' ”

OMG, I felt so bad for her! But I could relate. For the longest time, I thought it stood for “lots of love,” too. [...]

"Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin Fed to Crocs

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/people/rumours-a-total-croc-20090808-edn9.html

Sydney Morning Herald
9 August 2009

Rumours a total croc

Eamonn Duff

[Terri Irwin denies that the body of her husband, Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin, was fed to crocodiles after his death in 2006.]

Stuck Couple (Russia)

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2371303.ece?OTC-RSSATTR=News

The Sun [UK]
10 April 2009

Pair go one sex pose too far

By STAFF REPORTER

A KINKY couple were rushed to hospital after getting trapped in a position from the Kama Sutra sex manual.

Horrified Ivan Sokolov, 56, found he was stuck fast when his wife Valentina 51, had a muscle spasm as they romped in a position known as the "deck chair".

After failing for an hour to free themselves the red-faced couple dialled paramedics in Kalhuga, central Russia, for help. [...]

Kronkiters

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gJ8LSbu0UromHMQFFTvT78VgRwHwD99ST9100

The Associated Press
5 August 2009

The term 'Cronkiter' faces scrutiny, debunking

By FRAZIER MOORE (AP)

NEW YORK — Legendary figures sometimes find a few tall tales seeping into their obits when they die. Their legendary status invites it.

But the case of Walter Cronkite packs a special brand of irony. Turns out, the anchorman who prided himself on accuracy helped perpetuate an unfounded claim that newscasters in Sweden and Holland had been nicknamed "cronkiters." [...]

http://www.onthemedia.org/transcripts/2009/07/31/07

[Podcast and transcript]

On the Media
31 July 2009

Too Good to Check

Did you know that Walter Cronkite is so identified with the news business that in Sweden an anchorman is called a "Kronkiter"? And speaking of anchorman, did you know that word was coined in the 1950s to define Cronkite’s role on broadcast TV? Neither did we. Perhaps because none of it is true. Ben Zimmer, executive producer of the Visual Thesaurus, traced some of the myths surrounding the man who was once the most trusted in America. [...]