Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Kill Whites on Freedom Day (South African SMS)

http://www.citizen.co.za/index/article.aspx?pDesc=123950,1,22

The Citizen [South Africa]
26 April 2010

Police probe SMS warning whites of ‘murder pamphlets’

CITIZEN REPORTER

JOHANNESBURG - The intelligence community is investigating the origins of a “mischievous” SMS that has sowed panic in Polokwane and prompted the provincial police commissioner to place his forces on high alert.

The SMS, which warns that there are pamphlets being distributed around Polokwane which are urging black people each to kill as many whites as possible during today’s Freedom Day celebrations, has been distributed countrywide over the past few days. [...]

Monday, April 26, 2010

School Panic Over Jashinist Hit List

http://www2.nbc4i.com/cmh/news/state_regional/article/school_panic_grew_from_wildly_overblown_story/35709/

NBC4i [Columbus, OH]
26 April 2010

School Panic Grew From Wildly Overblown Story

Media General News Service

BRISTOL, Va.—Amid rumors that a bloodthirsty vampire cult might ritualistically sacrifice their children to gain immortality, dozens of Wallace Middle School parents kept their kids home Friday. [...]

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Money Hidden in Bible Undiscovered

Robert K. Dodge, Early American Almanac Humor (Bowling Green, OH: Bowling Green State University Popular Press, 1987), p. 147.

A wild young fellow was going abroad: His mother took him up into her closet, telling him she had a precious treasure to deposit in his hands, and after many grave admonitions produced the Bible, handsomely bound in two volumes; and to crown all, advised him to consult and search the scriptures. Little did the youth know how precious the volumes were; but you shall hear. On his return from sea, the old lady one day took him aside, and hoped he had remembered the last instruction she had given him: "Yes," he could very honestly say he had taken care of the Bible. To prove his respect and obedience, he runs upstairs to his own room, and returns instantly, with the two volumes safe and sound.

The good lady pulls off one cover: "Rather too clean, my dear." "O madam, I took great care of them: the second volume is equally fair." She shakes her head; intimating her suspicions that they had not been read so often as she wished: Then opened the first volume, and, lo! a ten pound note is found; the second volume displays a second note, and of twice the value. She was confounded, and so was her son: and regrets that he did not search the scriptures. (The Columbian Almanac; or, The North American Calendar, for...1800)

A Mongrel Imposter

Robert K. Dodge, Early American Almanac Humor (Bowling Green, OH: Bowling Green State University Popular Press, 1987), p. 22.

The Countess of Jervac, having some time since lost a favorite lapdog, desired a friend, on his next passing over the Pont-neuf, to replace it, by purchasing another from the people, who there vend these animals. The gentleman, accordingly bought for two Louis, the handsomest in the place. The Countess became instantly enamoured of the beauty of its colour, and the silkness of its coat. The new favourite was the admiration of every visitant, until one gentleman unfortunately observed that it had a little stiffness in its walk. The dear creature was taken up to examine into the cause of its lameness, when a seam presented itself running along the belly, which being rip't and pursued with great caution, out skipped a little black mongrel puppy. The Countess was astonished -- the visitors stared -- but the little animal himself, seemed greatly rejoiced at being released from the skin into which he had been inserted with so much ingenuity. (Wheeler's North American Calendar...for...1789)

Friday, April 23, 2010

Acid Rain Caused by Volcanic Ash

[The eruption of Eyjafjallajokull has been incorporated into acid rain rumors.]

http://www.globaltimes.cn/www/english/metro-beijing/update/society/2010-04/525217.html

Global Times [China]
23 April 2010

Acidic rumors refuted

By Li Shuang

An urban myth of cancerous volcanic acid rain has been doused by the Beijing weather bureau.

Volcanic ash will not reach the city and the rain that fell Thursday was not acidic, Beijing bureau meteorologist Zhang Mingying said. [...]

http://www.chinapost.com.tw/taiwan/national/national-news/2010/04/23/253610/Effects-of.htm

China Post [Taiwan]
23 April 2010

Effects of acid rain with ash rumor denied: expert

TAIPEI, Taiwan -- There is no need to panic over the online rumor that exposure to severe acid rain containing Icelandic volcanic ash would raise the possibility of getting skin cancer, an expert said yesterday. [...]

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Bomb Shelter in Winnipeg School

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/our-communities/lance/Mythbusting-at-Windsor-Park-Collegiate-91612134.html

Winnipeg Free Press [Manitoba, Canada]
22 April 2010

Mythbusting at Windsor Park Collegiate

By: Arielle Godbout

[...] Staff explained that since the school was built during the early years of the Cold War, the architect had designed a place to keep students safe in case of a nuclear attack.

The story of the bomb shelter [under the gymnasium] was so ingrained in the lore of Windsor Park Collegiate that [principal Marilyn] Thorington couldn’t believe the verdict after the Louis Riel School Division’s director of facilities examined the building’s blueprint.

"There’s no bomb shelter there," said Peter Kolba, who took a close look at the school’s plans earlier this month at the request of Thorington. [...]

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Acid Rain Rumors (Arabian Gulf)

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/general/meteorologist-says-acid-rain-e-mail-and-sms-is-a-scam-1.615328

Gulf News [UAE]
21 April 2010

Meteorologist says acid rain e-mail and SMS is a scam

By Aftab Kazmi, Bureau Chief

Al Ain: Do not panic or believe the contents of an e-mail or SMS that you receive predicting acid rain in the Arabian Gulf. [...]

The false alert says the acid rain will fall during April 20 and April 28. The message says, "Be careful: There is a possibility of acid rain from 20th to 28th of this month. The dark circle appeared around the moon on 17th of last month and this was an indication of an acid rain. Apparently, this happens once in 750 years. It rains normally but it may cause skin cancer if you expose yourself to it. This is coming from Nasa, warn your family and friends." [...]

Census Worker Mistaken For Troll, Locked in Closet

http://www.ohio.com/news/91607564.html

Akron Beacon Journal [OH]
20 April 2010

Story of 'troll' held captive in Bath Township closet is a hoax

By Gina Mace
Special to the Beacon Journal

A little person working on the 2010 census who was held in a closet by a developmentally disabled man was released unharmed.

The man called his mother, who was shopping at a nearby grocery store, to tell her he had captured a troll and locked him in a closet. The man said he was feeding his captive M&Ms by pushing them under the door. [...]

The tipster who called the Beacon Journal newsroom Monday said the incident happened in Bath Township last week. [...]

Monday, April 19, 2010

Burundanga Warnings (Malaysia)

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/articles/23ssw/Article/index_html

New Straits Times [Malaysia]
19 April 2010

Emails on rape drug 'make sense'

By Ben Tan

JOHOR BARU: Ever heard of burundanga?

It's not the name of a bird but a potent date rape drug. Stories about the drug are spreading like wildfire in cyberspace through the personal emails of Malaysians and Singaporeans.

The forwarded emails are of victims or near victims of rapes and date rapes that warn the public to beware of criminals using business cards laced with burundanga. [...]

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Caltech Predicts Earthquake

http://www.pasadenastarnews.com/news/ci_14870731

Pasadena Star-News [CA]
12 April 2010

Internet quake rumor triggers calls to agencies

By Ruby Gonzales Staff Writer

PASADENA - Rumors spread like wildfire on the Internet and via text messages Monday about an impending earthquake, triggering a rash of calls to Caltech, the U.S. Geological Survey and the Pasadena Fire Department, officials said. [...]

"It's a rumor that Caltech is predicting a major earthquake and sent all employees home - not true," said Jon Weiner, director of media relations at Caltech. "We can't predict earthquakes, and we're not sending employees home." [...]

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Bait Dog Fears (South Carolina)

http://www2.scnow.com/scp/news/local/pee_dee/article/pet_owners_fear_missing_animals_might_be_used_as_bait_dogs_for_illegal_dogf/116107/

Morning News [Florence, SC]
10 April 2010

Pet owners fear missing animals might be used as ‘bait dogs’ for illegal dogfights

Carlton Purvis/MORNING NEWS

[...] Ammons and other dog owners in the Pee Dee are concerned their missing dogs are being used to train dogs for illegal dogfighting rings. Although some say “bait dogs” are an urban legend, some residents whose dogs go missing under suspicious circumstances think otherwise.

But what looks like a string of dog thefts may be par for the course with the onset of warmer weather. [...]

Tom Jones, Chicken Thief

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2010/04/11/sir-tom-jones-chicken-tale-comes-home-to-roost-91466-26217301/

Wales on Sunday
11 April 2010

Sir Tom Jones chicken tale comes home to roost

by Keith Fairbank, Wales On Sunday

A VILLAGE’S Tom Jones gig has gone down in Valleys folklore nearly 50 years on – over the unsolved mystery of a missing chicken and the singer’s “lifetime ban”.

[According to legend, Tom Jones stole a fundraising raffle's top prize -- a chicken -- from the Fochriw Social Club in 1963. One villager remarks, "Nothing’s happened in Fochriw since Tom Jones took that chicken."]

Thursday, April 8, 2010

"Bed, sir?"

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-viner/brian-viner-if-the-best-tales-are-often-urban-myths-its-best-to-tell-them-as-if-theyre-true-1938516.html

The Independent [UK]
8 April 2010

Brian Viner: If the best tales are often urban myths, it's best to tell them as if they're true

The grand old man of English cricket, Sir Alec Bedser, died on Sunday. The obituaries have been extensive and properly reverential, so it falls to me to tell one of my all-time favourite stories of misunderstanding, featuring Bedser and his international teammate, the sublimely named Jack Crapp.

In 1948, the pair had played against one another in a county match, so travelled together up to a hotel in Leeds where they were due to join the rest of the England party, prior to a Test match at Headingley. When they got there, the receptionist didn't realise that they were England cricketers, and wondered whether they were checking in for an overnight stay.

"Bed, sir?" she enquired of one of them. "No, Crapp," he replied. The receptionist didn't bat an eyelid. "Through them doors and first on t' left," she said. [...]

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Bracelet Game Ends in Rape (Utah)

http://www.sltrib.com/ci_14795132?source=most_viewed

Salt Lake Tribune [Utah]
31 March 2010

Police: Man let children watch other kids have sex
Clearfield » Suspect, others would watch teens through a peephole.

By Sheena McFarland
The Salt Lake Tribune

[...] The young teens would play a bracelet game, where the girl would wear both a white and black bracelet. If the boy broke the girl's black bracelet, the two would engage in sexual intercourse. If the white was broken, she would perform oral sex. [...]

http://www.standard.net/topics/sex-abuse/2010/03/31/police-bracelets-might-be-used-sexual-game

Standard-Examiner [Ogden, Utah]
1 April 2010

Police: Bracelets might be used for sexual game

By Loretta Park (Standard-Examiner Davis Bureau)

[...] In Clearfield, a 14-year-old girl reported to her mother she had been raped after she refused to have intercourse with a 15-year-old boy after he had snapped a black plastic bracelet off her arm, police said. [...]

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Kotex

William Lynwood Montell, Tales from Kentucky Funeral Homes (Lexington: University Press of Kentucky, 2009), pp. 53-4.

KOTEX OR KODAK

Here's a story I like to tell. We had this man laid out at the funeral home. His widow wanted a two-night visitation, but on the second day there wasn't anybody there except the body and the widow and me.

I was sitting in the lounge area and the widow came in. She was chewing her gum just as hard as she could. She said to me, "Mr. Dowell, have you got a Kotex?"

She was probably in her late seventies, so I thought as to why in the world did she want a Kotex.

Well, that was before the days of enlightenment, when you didn't talk about those things. So, I could just feel my face getting hot and red. I said, "No ma'am, I don't have a Kotex."

She was really chewing that gum and said, "Well, [I] wonder where I could get one."

The man that worked for us lived upstairs, and his wife was pregnant and didn't figure she had any need for one. I said, "Well, one of them women over there at the flower shop might have one."

She said, "Well, I was just wondering. I was wanting some pictures made."

I didn't have the heart to tell her she wanted a Kodak camera!

Billy Dowell, Mt. Vernon, August 27, 2007

Peter V. MacDonald, From the Cop Shop (Toronto: Stoddart, 1996), p. 194.

When I spoke to the former Sydney [Nova Scotia] police chief in late 1994, I was delighted to receive official confirmation of one of [Hugh MacDonald's] most famous utterances. Alex Goldie, who was in his thirties at the time, said he was standing about three feet behind the much older Sergeant MacDonald when the latter unleashed the line that caused generations of fun-loving folks to giggle and guffaw. The story goes like this:

One day in the late-1940s, Hughie R. arrested a woman for being drunk and disorderly in a public place. Seconds after he put her in the slammer, she sang out, "Oh, Officer, I'll need Kotex in the morning," and Hughie R. snarled, "Aw, shut up, you'll have Corn Flakes like the rest of them!"

William Montell, Tales from Kentucky Lawyers (Lexington: The University Press of Kentucky, 2003), p. 105.

128. "COMMON JAIL FOOD"

A well-known Harlan County prostitute was being incarcerated in the Harlan County jail. In the process of being locked up, she protested and said, "I can't go in there."

The jailer replied, "Susie, there is a warrant out on you, and I've got to put you in. Go on in there."

Susie then protested with these words, "If I am going to go in there, you'll have to get me a box of Kotex."

The jailer replied to her and said, "Hell no, Susie, you'll eat Post Toasties like all the rest."

Eugene Goss, Harlan, May 22, 2002

Immigrants Eating Swans (Peterborough, UK)

http://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/news/features/fury_as_swans_brutally_killed_1_367438

The Evening Telegraph [Peterborough, UK]
22 March 2010

Fury as swans brutally killed

By Adam Uren

POACHERS using bread attached to fishing lines are snaring and butchering legally-protected swans from the River Nene in Peterborough. [...]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1260031/Immigrants-blamed-rape-river-swans-mutilated-fish-stocks-down.html
Daily Mail [UK]
24 March 2010
Swans killed and fish vanish as 'migrants pillage river for food'
By Andrew Levy

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1261044/Slaughter-swans-As-carcasses-pile-crude-camps-built-river-banks-residents-frightened-visit-park-Peterborough.html?ITO=1490
Daily Mail [UK]
26 March 2010
Slaughter of the swans: As carcasses pile up and migrant camps are built on river banks, Peterborough residents are too frightened to visit the park
By Andrew Malone

Holocaust Soap for Sale in Montreal

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/montreal/story/2010/03/26/montreal-shop-sells-nazi-objects.html

CBC [Canada]
26 March 2010

Shop owner defends sale of 'Holocaust' soap
Montreal shop owner's wares draw ire from Jewish groups

The owner of a Montreal collectibles shop is defending his decision to sell a bar of soap he advertises as being made of the fat of Holocaust victims. [...]

http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/Montreal+shop+claims+soap+made+from+Holocaust+victims/2731997/story.html

The Gazette [Montreal]
27 March 2010

Montreal shop claims soap made from Holocaust victims
St. Laurent Blvd. soap-peddler incites rage, ridicule

By Irwin Block, Montreal Gazette

MONTREAL – A vendor’s claim that soap for sale in his Montreal trinket shop is made from the corpses of Second World War victims was greeted Friday with both outrage and ridicule. [...]

In spite of rumours to the contrary, there is no evidence the Germans ever made soap out of human flesh most Holocaust experts today agree. [...]

http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/Swastika+branded+soap+undergoes+test/2775611/story.html

The Gazette [Montreal]
8 April 2010

Swastika-branded soap undergoes test
Seized by police; Made from corpses, merchant claimed

Montreal police have asked for an in-house chemical analysis of a bar of soap with a swastika stamped on it to see whether it was made from the corpses of Second World War victims, as the vendor claimed last week. [...]

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/montreal/story/2010/06/02/nazi-soap.html

CBC [Canada]
2 June 2010

'Nazi' soap contains no human remains

Quebec authorities say they found no human remains in a swastika-stamped bar of soap sold at a Montreal curio shop whose owner claimed it was made with fat from Holocaust victims. [...]

The shop owner likely won't be charged with fraud for misrepresenting his soap, police said.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Acid Rain Rumors (Nigeria)

http://allafrica.com/stories/201003240647.html
AllAfrica.com
23 March 2010
Nigeria: Expert Allays Fears On Acid Rain

http://allafrica.com/stories/201003230673.html
AllAfrica.com
23 March 2010
Nigeria: Panic Over Strange Weather

http://allafrica.com/stories/201003260329.html
AllAfrica.com
26 March 2010
Nigeria: Panic Over Acid Rain in Lagos

http://allafrica.com/stories/201003260214.html

AllAfrica.com
25 March 2010

Nigeria: Experiencing the Purported Acid Rain in Lagos

Stella Odueme
Daily Independent (Lagos)

Analysis

Lagos — "Be careful from March 20 to 28, there is possibility of acid rain. The dark circle appeared around the moon on February 17 and this is an indication of acid. Apparently, this happens once in 750 years. It rains like normal but it may cause skin cancer if you expose yourself to it, so alert your loved ones, this is from NASA, do not neglect, please."

With this text message circulated via the Global System for Mobile Communication (GSM), the tune was set for anticipation of what next.

Not even rebuttal by the National Aeronautic Safety Administration (NASA) of Nigeria could convince many Nigerians and indeed Lagosians any longer about the purported acid rain. [...]

http://234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/News/Metro/Environment/5545231-146/story.csp

Next
25 March 2010

Residents take cover from ‘acid rain'

BY GBENGA OLORUNPOMI

"This rain must not touch my body, or else my mother will beat me. She said the rain has acid and my skin will peel off. Please, don't let the rain touch my body." These were the words of eight-year-old ‘Niola Adageje, a pupil of the Agege Local Government Primary School, as she clustered with other children under the cover of a Mobil Filling Station while it rained yesterday. [...]

http://234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/News/Metro/5544678-146/story.csp
Next
27 March 2010
A rain like no other
By Ben Ezeamalu

http://allafrica.com/stories/201003290353.html
AllAfrica.com
29 March 2010
Nigeria: Acid Rain Palavar
Ebele Orakpo
The Vanguard [Nigeria]

http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art201003295264775
The Punch [Nigeria]
29 March 2010
Acid rain’ causes scare in Osogbo
By Tunde Odesola, Osogbo

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Green Stamps

William Lynwood Montell, Tales from Kentucky Doctors (Lexington: The University Press of Kentucky, 2008), pp. 48-9.

HUSBAND'S HUMOROUS TALES

My husband, Dr. Weldon DeMunbrun, [...] provided us with another humorous incident at the office. Our nurse had prepared a woman for a pelvic examination. As usual, the patient was on the exam table with her feet up in stirrups, feeling very self-conscious. When the doctor entered the room, he burst out laughing. This thoroughly distressed the poor patient, who wanted to know just what he thought was so darn funny.

"Did you by any chance use a Kleenex out of your purse to wipe yourself when you used the bathroom just now?" he asked her.

"Well, yes I did," she said. "How did you know that?"

"You have a row of Green Stamps in a most interesting place, and I don't even take Green Stamps," he replied.

Dr. Donne O'Donnell DeMunbrun-Harmon, Louisville, March 10, 2006

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Reading Scores Predict Future Inmate Populations

http://www.oregonlive.com/education/index.ssf/2010/03/prisons_dont_use_reading_score.html

The Oregonian
23 March 2010

Prisons don't use reading scores to predict future inmate populations

By Bill Graves, The Oregonian

The statement gets tossed out at conferences, pops up in blogs and surfaces in newspaper editorials. It is always a variation of this: "Some states use their third-grade reading scores to plan for future prison beds." [...]

Friday, March 19, 2010

Bombers Buried Under Pueblo Memorial Airport

http://www.kktv.com/news/headlines/88504987.html

KKTV [Colorado Springs, CO]
18 March 2010

The Legend of the Buried Bombers

Reporter: Jason Aubry

Legend has it, the military buried up to 12 B-24 and B-17 bombers near the airfield that would become the Pueblo Memorial Airport, right before they turned it over to the city of Pueblo. [...]

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Wal-Mart Aids in Rounding Up Illegal Immigrants

http://www.bakersfieldnow.com/news/87292287.html

Bakersfield Now [CA]
11 March 2010

Texts warn immigrants to stay away from Wal-Mart

By Sabrina Rodriguez, Eyewitness News

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. -- A text message that's been circulating among Kern County's Hispanic community is causing some concern.

The message claims that Wal-Mart gave permission for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement to round up immigrants in its stores on March 20. The message adds to support the Hispanic movement by not shopping at Wal-Mart and to spread the word. [...]

http://www.trentonian.com/articles/2010/03/16/news/doc4b9f1d57e989c701590829.txt

The Trentonian [NJ]
16 March 2010

False word of fed immigration bust has Trenton Latinos in hiding

By L.A. PARKER
Staff Writer

TRENTON — It might have been bogus, but a rumor that federal agents raided a city shopping center in search of Latino illegal aliens forced many immigrants into hiding over the weekend. [...]

http://www.nctimes.com/news/local/escondido/article_ae44858a-1ee9-544c-b3aa-56a33cf30653.html

North County Times [Escondido, CA]
18 March 2010

REGION: Latino immigrants in a 'panic' over rumored raids
Text messages spreading rumors of immigration sweeps in local stores

By EDWARD SIFUENTES

Rumors spreading like wildfire in Escondido that immigration authorities are conducting large-scale operations in local Latino supermarkets and Wal-Mart stores are false, say authorities and community activists. [...]

Chewing Gum Firm Battles Rumors

http://arabnews.com/saudiarabia/article28563.ece?comments=all

Arab News
11 March 2010

Chewing gum firm battles rumors

By FATIMA SIDIYA ARAB NEW

JEDDAH: A Saudi chewing gum manufacturer has been forced to publish adverts saying its product is safe following rumors that the gum causes severe memory problems and damages the nervous system.

Rumors about Batook chewing gum have circulated not only on Internet websites but also via text messages for over six months. [...]

Dog Droppings Stolen (UK)

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/5051683.Hunt_for_Worthing__poo_thief_/

The Argus [UK]
10 March 2010

Hunt for Worthing "poo thief"

By Ben Parsons, Crime Reporter

A bag-snatcher on a bicycle pinched a bag of poo from an elderly dog-walker in Worthing. [...]

http://www.worthingherald.co.uk/worthing/Tarring-bag-snatcher-grabbed-dog.6139910.jp

Worthing Herald [UK]
10 March 2010

Tarring bag snatcher grabbed dog mess

A THIEF got more than he bargained for when he snatched a carrier bag from a woman walking her dog in Tarring. [...]

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

One-Armed Soldiers Clapping

Michael David Harris, Always on Sunday. Ed Sullivan: An Inside View (Toronto: Signet Books, 1969), pp. 93-5.

[During World War II Ed Sullivan "organized the entertainment program at Halloran General Hospital on Staten Island."]

There is one Halloran show Ed Sullivan remembers before all others. Sullivan was scheduled for a show there and received a phone call from the Halloran chaplain, Father Delaney, who said the soldiers read that Jimmy Durante was in town and wondered if he would join the troupe. Sullivan called Durante at the Astor and discovered he had a bad cold and was also scheduled to do two radio programs on the day of the Halloran show, but to Sullivan's surprise Durante said Yes. The two men worked out a precise schedule for Durante to get back for the radio broadcasts, and this involved catching a particular ferry. It meant that Durante could only do one song, but Sullivan reassured him the men would understand and be delighted he came at all.

When Durante arrived at the island, he was kept hidden in the general's office so the men would be surprised. On that particular evening the first shipload of wounded had come in on the liner Gripsholm. Most of them had been American prisoners of war, and the Halloran wounded insisted that the newcomers take the best seats on the divans in rows one and two. When Sullivan introduced Durante, the place went wild. The comic did a routine in which he threw sheet music around and ripped the top off his piano. When he finished, the applause was incredible. As he left the stage, Sullivan started to explain that Durante had to rush back to town for a radio date but the comic came out of the wings, grabbed the mike, and went into another number and then a third. "Thanks to Jimmy this was the greatest night the hospital had ever had. The place was pandemonium."

After Sullivan introduced the next act he went backstage and said to Durante, "Are you out of your mind? You'll never make your ferry." Durante told him to look at the front row of the audience. "When I saw that, Ed, I made up my mind that my radio broadcast wasn't so important, and my cold wasn't so important either." Sullivan put his head through the curtain and saw two young lieutenants in the center divan. They had each lost an arm and were applauding by clapping their two remaining hands together.

Bennett Cerf, The Sound of Laughter (Garden City, NY: Doubleday & Company, 1970), pp. 276-7.

In Michael David Harris' engaging book about TV star and columnist Ed Sullivan's career, Always on Sunday, there is told the story of the day when Ed and the great Jimmy Durante rode out to Halloran General Hospital to entertain the sorely wounded war veterans there.

Durante explained in advance that he had two very remunerative radio dates scheduled for later that very day, so that he would have time to do only one number. When he actually did that number, however, the audience was so ecstatic that he grabbed the microphone and did two more complete routines.

Sullivan cried, "You were great, Jimmy. But now you'll never make those two radio dates of yours."

"Look at the front row of the audience," Durante told him. "You'll see why I forgot all about those two dates."

Ed Sullivan poked his head through the curtain and spotted two soldiers in the center divan. They each had lost an arm and were applauding happily by clapping their two remaining hands together.

Bennett Cerf, Stories To Make You Feel Better (New York: Random House, 1972), pp. 4-5.

Several times a year Ed Sullivan performs a worthy service indeed. He persuades a group of top-flight Broadway stars to accompany him to Halloran General Hospital in Staten Island to entertain the sorely wounded war veterans there.

For one of these expeditions, Sullivan sought out the beloved veteran Jimmy Durante, who accepted the invitation but explained in advance that he had a very remunerative date to perform at a private party later that night and would, accordingly, be able to do only one number for the boys.

The number he chose, naturally, was his famous "Inky Dinky Doo," and at its conclusion he audience was so ecstatic that he grabbed the microphone back and did eight more complete routines.

When he finally staggered off the platform, exhausted, Sullivan cried, "You were just great, Jimmy, but didn't you see me signaling to you? What came into you? You'll never make your private party now!"

"Look at the front row of that audience," Durante told him, "and you'll see why I forgot all about that private engagement."

Ed Sullivan poked his head through the curtain and spotted two lieutenants in a first-row divan, applauding happily. The lieutenant on the right had lost his left arm, the one on the left his right arm. With no semblance of self-consciousness, they were clapping their two remaining hands together, and giving Jimmy Durante the most soul-satisfying round of applause he ever in his life had received.

James Maguire, Impresario: The Life and Times of Ed Sullivan (New York: Billboard Books, 2006), p. 110.

In addition to his whirlwind of war benefits, Ed organized a constant stream of celebrity-filled shows at New York-area hospitals filled with wounded soldiers. He often recounted moments from these shows in his column, always in highly emotional terms. Typical of his anecdotes was one from a variety revue he put together at Staten Island's Halloran Hospital, starring comedienne Beatrice Lilly, Jimmy Durante, and Peg Leg Bates. In the show, Durante reprised his wildly physical 1920s act from Club Durant in which he tore apart a piano, hurling the pieces pell-mell through the hall. After his act, standing offstage with Ed as Peg Leg Bates performed, Durante pointed out two soldiers. "Then I noticed the tears on his face," Ed wrote. " 'Ed,' he said, in that hoarse whisper, 'take a look at those two kids out there.' He indicated two youngsters, one a lieutenant and the other a G.I., each of whom had lost an arm...They were applauding Peg Leg Bates. With great spirit and not the slightest self-consciousness, they were clapping their hands -- the lieutenant's left against the G.I.'s right."

Ed's story of the one-armed soldiers clapping was, to some, quite maudlin, though few would have carped about such a thing at the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Using Amazon.com's book search feature, I could find no mention of this anecdote in Gerald Nachman's Right Here on Our Stage Tonight!: Ed Sullivan's America (University of California Press, 2009).

Bennett Cerf's more elaborate version of the anecdote differs so much in important details from his first version that I suspect he wrote it from memory.

Judging from some Google Books snippets, Sullivan's own account -- from one of his New York Daily News columns? -- was reprinted in I.B.M.'s internal magazine, Think (1959, vol. 29, p. 17):

I also called Jimmy Durante. "I know you're not well," I told him, "but if you could come out with us and make just one appearance, it would mean a lot to those kids."

Jimmy said he would ask his doctor whether it would be all right to make the trip. It's my guess that he used a little persuasion; at any rate, the doctor gave his okay but stipulated that Jimmy could sing only one song [....]

I rushed backstage, where I found Durante drying himself with a towel.

"Are you out of your mind?" I asked. "I promised your doctor that you wouldn't do more than one number."

Then I noticed the tears on his face. "Ed," he said, in that hoarse whisper, "take a look at those two kids out there." [...] I figured even the doc would have told me I had to go on. Watch them."

I saw it then. They were applauding Peg Leg Bates. With great spirit and not the slightest self-consciousness, they were clapping their hands -- the lieutenant's right against the G.I.'s left....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
According to a source on the Internet, the 1921 Buster Keaton film The Playhouse features a running gag about a pair of one-armed men who applaud by clapping their remaining hands together. -- bc

Pig Ingredients in Soft Drinks (Qatar)

http://www.thepeninsulaqatar.com/Display_news.asp?section=Local_News&subsection=Qatar+News&month=March2010&file=Local_News201003106456.xml

The Peninsula [Qatar]
10 March 2010

Ministry denies rumours about pig ingredients in soft drinks

DOHA: A senior official of the Ministry of Municipality and Urban Planning has denied rumours circulating through emails that soft drinks being sold in the country contain ingredients made from pig organs. [...]

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Driver Sucks Pennies to Fool Breathalyser

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/cardiffonline/cardiff-news/2010/03/09/jpr-sucked-pennies-in-bid-to-trick-drink-drive-breath-test-91466-25990554/

South Wales Echo [UK]
9 March 2010

JPR ‘sucked pennies’ in bid to trick drink-drive breath test

by Lisa Jones, South Wales Echo

RUGBY legend JPR Williams put coins in his mouth to try to fool a police breathalyser when he was arrested for drink-driving, a court has heard. [...]

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Newborn Speaks (Orissa, India)

http://www.breakingnewsonline.net/odisha/1074-women-throng-to-shiva-temples-in-orissa-as-rumor-triggers-panic.html

Breaking News Online
3 March 2010

Women throng to Shiva Temples in Orissa, as Rumor triggers Panic

Bhubaneswar: Breaking News! In a bizarre development, a rumour triggered panic across Orissa and forced the women in the state to throng to Shiva Temples to seek the blessing of Lord Shiva to save their sons.

It's not clear from where the rumour started, but it put the state on a high alert (unofficial though). It started as a newborn baby speaks out just after his birth. He stood up, spoke out and asked all parents to worship Lord Shiva to save their sons from any evil. And, he died immediately. [...]

http://orissadiary.com/CurrentNews.asp?id=17031
Orissa Diary
3 March 2010
Rumor triggers panic across Orissa

http://www.orissatv.com/NewsDetail.asp?newsID=NS18189
Orissa Television [Bhubaneswar, Orissa]
3 March 2010
Rumors trigger panic among parents

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Woman Gives Beggar Money, Grows Fur (Tanzania)

http://www.dailynews.co.tz/home/?n=7729

The Daily News [Dar es Salaam, Tanzania]
23 February 2010

Beggars condemn woman-cat rumours

By CONSESA JOHN

RUMOURS circulating in Dar es Salaam about a woman said to have disappeared mysteriously after giving alms to a beggar at Salender Bridge in the city has brought mayhem to some beggars and the disabled, saying it has robbed them of their daily bread. [...]

One week ago it was reported that a beggar at Salender Bridge asked for money from a woman who was in a car and after she gave him money her hands grew hairs like a cat and could not drive her car.

It was further alleged that the beggar asked the woman to step out of his car and kiss him so that her hand could return to normal but immediately after the woman fulfilled what she was asked to do, she and the beggar disappeared into thin air. [...]

http://www.theeastafrican.co.ke/opOrEd/comment/-/434750/870418/-/btf7ru/-/

The East African [Kenya]
1 March 2010

Too many beggars on the streets? Don’t drown them, give them loans

By JOACHIM BUWEMBO

A rumour that has been doing the rounds in Dar es Salaam for a couple of weeks now, has had the strangest effect on the city’s life. [...]

The effect was interesting — the number of beggars in the Dar streets fell sharply.

Women beggars stayed on, however, on the assumption that it was their male colleagues who had a problem.

Then Part B of the rumour started — that the male beggars are disguising themselves as women. [...]

Saturday, February 27, 2010

The Wrong Portmanteau

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/31395/31395-h/31395-h.htm

PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK

Richard Pike, ed., Railway Adventures and Anecdotes, third edition (London: Hamilton, Adams, and Co., 1888), p. 130.

HIS PORTMANTEAU.

An English traveller in Germany entered a first-class carriage in which there was only one seat vacant, a middle one. A corner seat was occupied by a German, who evidently had placed his portmanteau on the opposite one — at least the traveller suspected that this was the case. The latter asked, “Is this seat engaged?” “Yes,” was the reply. When the time for the departure of the train had almost arrived, the Englishman said, “Your friend is going to miss the train, if he is not quick.” “Oh, that is all right. I’ll keep it for him.” Soon the signal came and the train started, when the passenger seized the portmanteau, and threw it out of the window, exclaiming, “He’s missed his train but he mustn’t lose his baggage!” That portmanteau was the German’s.