Saturday, June 7, 2014

A Sandwich and a Glass of Milk

Times Colonist [Victoria, BC, Canada]
7 June 2014

Adrian Chamberlain

What: On the Couch
Where: McPherson Playhouse
When: Friday night
Rating: 2 1/2 stars (out of five)

What is this thing called On the Couch?

It is two comedians. On a couch. Talking.

They are Greg Proops and Ryan Stiles, best known for their appearances on the television show Whose Line is It Anyway? Prior to the show, Proops promised two things. The show would be completely improvised. And they might — just might — be drinking some vodka. […]

[One of the topics they discussed was] The Craig Ferguson masturbation story. Apparently, Ferguson once told a story how about how (as a young man) he’d once closed his eyes, lit up a joint, put on his headphones and started to masturbate. When he opened his eyes, he noticed his mother had set his lunch on a tray beside his bed while he’d listened to an Eric Clapton tune. […]

[On The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, CBS-TV, 13 January 2011 (repeated 21 March 2011), the host tells this story (my transcription):]

“I know this guy, right? And he swears this is true. When he was a teenager, right?, he would go home and he'd listen to the records on the, with the giant headphones, right? So one, one day he goes home, he's in his parent's house, he's got the giant headphones on, he's a teenage kid, he closes his eyes, and he starts, you know, performing an act of self-massage. And then, you know, when he's finished, he opens his eyes -- he's had his headphones on the whole time -- there's a sandwich and a glass of milk next to his bed.”

[Cf. Phil Healey & Rick Glanvill, The Return of Urban Myths (London: Virgin, 1993), 186-7.]