Jane Slater, a reporter for the NFL (National Football
League) Network, tweets a proto-legend about modern technology disclosing her
partner’s sexual infidelity: “An Ex Boyfriend once got me a Fitbit for Christmas.
I loved it. We synched up, motivated each other…didn’t hate it until he was
unaccounted for at 4am and his physical activity levels were spiking on the app
wish the story wasn’t real.”
One respondent (Dana G) in the thread comments: “Hearing
similar concerns as the traveling spouse with a new Sleep Number Smartbed. I’ll
be checking ‘activity levels’ when I’m away!” This idea was prefigured by the announcement
in 2016 of the Smarttress (a possible hoax).
VICE
19 April 2016
This Mattress Will Tell You
if Your Partner Is Cheating
[…] Last Wednesday, Spanish mattress maker Durmet
unveiled a new high-tech spring mattress that can tell its owner, via an app,
both if people are fucking on it and how well the session is going. Naturally,
the bed, or "Smarttress," is being marketed as a way to catch
cheating spouses in the act, though it could just as easily provide a whole
range of intriguing data to curious customers and sex researchers. […]
Cf. Scott Stevens, “Smart
Bed Tells If You’re a Dud or a Stud in the Sack,” Weekly World News, 3 January 2005, p. 52. An ergonomist and former
prostitute invents a bed with an internal computer that rates “the lovemaking skills
of anyone who gets busy on it.” Note: total fiction.
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