Urine in Chinese Dairy's Milk

http://www.thestandard.com.hk/news_detail.asp?we_cat=2&art_id=122842&sid=36534269&con_type=1&d_str=20120528&fc=10

The Standard [Hong Kong]

28 May 2012

Mengniu refutes cow urine rumors

China Mengniu Dairy Co (2319) yesterday strongly denied reports that cow urine was added to its milk products. [...]

Last week, a consumer claimed that some dairy farmers in Hebei province had injected "large amounts of cow urine" into the milk before selling it to Mengniu in order to make more profit. [...]

Lilongwe man 'stuck' inside woman

http://www.nyasatimes.com/malawi/2012/05/25/sex-at-work-lilongwe-man-stuck-inside-woman-hoax/

Nyasa Times [Malawi]

25 May 2012

Sex at work: Lilongweman 'stuck' inside woman -- Hoax?

By Nyasa Times Reporter

Two adults were stuck for hours after having sex at the Ministry of Gender in Malawi's capital city Lilongwe on Friday. [...]

It is believed that the woman, was "locked" by her husband that whenever she cheats, she should be stuck with the man during sexual intercourse. [...]

Churchill's Convocation Speech

On the 23rd of May 2012 Dr. Tom Traves, President and Vice-Chancellor of Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, gave this anecdote in his speech at the Spring convocation ceremony for the Faculty of Science and Graduate Studies:

"There is a story, probably only partly true but it's a good story anyway, that Winston Churchill once delivered a nine-word convocation speech. He started off by looking at the graduates with his famous stare and said, 'Never give up.' He then paused and once again he said, 'Never give up.' Then, after another short pause, he stared at them even more fiercely and in his sternest voice he declared, 'Never give up!' Then he sat down."

It's not well known that Churchill's succinct convocation speech was supposed to have been much longer. Unfortunately, he had misplaced his papers and, trying to recite the text from memory, could only recall the first three words. After repeating them thrice, he gave up.

That's what I claim, anyway.

Brian

A Misunderstanding at the Starbucks Counter

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/22/a-misunderstanding-at-the-starbucks-counter/?ref=nyregion

New York Times

22 May 2012

Metropolitan Diary

A Misunderstanding at the Starbucks Counter

By PAUL KLENK

Dear Diary:

My ears did a double-take a couple of months ago when a customer at the Starbucks on Lexington and 40th ordered something called "a black guy." The cashier repeated "black guy" to the barista, so I knew I had heard correctly. When I noticed others order this drink a day or two later, I became curious, and asked Frank, the cashier, "What's a `black guy'?"

"It's two shots," he replied.

My jaw dropped. "You mean, like...?"

"Yeah," Frank laughed, miming two blows to his head. "Two shots!"

I was mortified. A simple double espresso had taken on a racially offensive and violent nickname, and Starbucks was laughingly going along with it. It bothered me deeply, and for weeks I considered writing to the company. But what could I ask them to do?

I'm glad I didn't write that letter. The other day, I ordered a venti dark roast with a shot of espresso. The cashier, in Starbucks' typical passive-aggressive practice of rewording every order, called out to the barista: "A venti bold red eye."

"What's a `red eye'?" I inquired.

"A red eye is an extra shot," she explained. "A black eye is two shots; a purple eye, three shots."

Extra Joints

Rolling Stone, 13 December 1969, p. 14.

Drug Rap: 3 for The Price of 1

Ben Fong-Torres

SAN FRANCISCO -- They drove this narcotics agent right out of their classroom. He had come to clue them in on drugs -- something all high school kids should know about, of course -- and he thought he'd really show them something. So he passed this real live joint of weed around the class on a plate. And when the plate had finished the rounds and got back to him, see, it had three joints in it. The narc mumbled, stumbled, and made a hasty retreat.

Dr. Richard Blum, from Stanford, looked out at the 400 high school editors seated under the orange icicle chandeliers in the Hilton Hotel's Continental Ballroom, where the Tom Campbell Drug Rap had just begun. He had recounted the story, and gotten a laugh, but he couldn't say what it meant. [...]

See also Brunvand, The Choking Doberman, 162-3; Brunvand, Too Good To Be True, 331; Richard Dorson, America in Legend, 269. Cf.

David Hardy, What A Mistake (Secaucus, NJ: Castle , 1987), 101.

Florida students were delighted one year during their Rag Week festivities to welcome the offer of  a local police officer to show off his tracker dog's remarkable sleuthing facility.

However, somebody blundered in selecting the venue for the event, for when, having concealed ten packets of cannabis about the room, the officer let his sniffing side-kick off the leash, the indefatigable bloodhound came back with 11!

Tobacco Companies Trademarked Dope Names

Rolling Stone, 18 October 1969, p. 10.

GREAT DOPE PURGE OF 1969

[...] "Cigarette makers," began a remarkable story in Business Week, "now suffering through their second consecutive year of falling sales, may take a closer look at something they once swore they would never resort to in order to hypo sales -- marijuana." The story went on to suggest there might be larger profits than anyone had suspected in legal, commercial grass, and told how a number of good dope names ("Acapulco Gold," "Morocco Red") had apparently been registered by tobacco manufacturers. Nowhere in the story did Business Week's tone imply that mass distribution of pot for profit might be an evil thing. [...]

[Rolling Stone readers who didn't also read Business Week -- most of them, I would guess -- might have been led to believe by that brief reference to the registering of "good dope names" that the latter magazine gave credence to such rumors, which it didn't. The following excerpts from the Business Week article were cobbled together from various Google Book snippets. -- bc]

Business Week, 6 September 1969, p 28.

Will cigarettes take to pot?

[...] What's more, according to the underground grapevine, the major cigarette companies are just waiting for the day pot is legalized so they can start producing grass-laced smokes.

"I know for a fact that the big companies are experimenting and have brand names already decided," declares Gene Guerrero, editor of the Great Speckled Bird, Atlanta's underground newspaper. Adds David Drake, a bearded 1969 University of Wisconsin graduate in fine arts: "I've heard that the names Acapulco Gold and Tijuana Gold have already been copyrighted." And a miniskirted New York City flower child avows that "one of the leading cigarette companies -- I think it's American -- has bought large plots of land in Louisiana, Mexico, and Central America specifically for growing pot." [...]

Such rumors have been growing for the past year or so, and they are obviously disconcerting to tobacco men. Says one executive, who would rather remain anonymous, "We have enough trouble dealing with the cigarette health scare without selling drugs, too." Another adds categorically: "No company in the industry has had anything to do with marijuana, nor does anyone want to." Others term the rumors "ridiculous" and "blatantly false."

Despite repeated denials, however, the rumors flourish, and not just in the underground press alone. Last year, the New York Knickerbocker, a local tabloid, ran an article stating that American Tobacco Co. had registered the names "Acapulco Gold" and "Morocco Red" just in case marijuana become legalized. American immediately denied this and branded the story as "nothing short of irresponsible reporting." And a check with the U.S. Patent Office, where tobacco men have registered hundreds of never-used names over the years, reveals such exotic potential brands as Luv and Laredo -- but nothing of recent vintage that would directly connote marijuana. [...]

Rolling Stone, 4 March 1971, p. 25

DOPE NOTES

The following communication came to our offices on January 15th:

DEAR MR. WENNER:

Your newspaper, as well as many others, have been carrying so many speculative pieces on cigarette smoking and marijuana, we thought you'd like to have this to set the record straight.

Sincerely yours,

FREDERICK PANZER

THE TOBACCO INSTITUTE, INC.

"Rumors about the cigarette industry's involvement with marijuana are as persistent as they are false," said a spokesman for the Tobacco Institute, adding: "Because both tobacco and marijuana are so commonly used in cigarette form, these rumors are plausible lies which appeal to people who have a strong wish to believe them, either because they are pro-marijuana or anti-tobacco, or both."

Following are statements of all six major cigarette companies:

"We are unalterably opposed to the legalization of marijuana, and therefore disclaim any activity which would remotely involve marijuana."

E. P. FINCH, PRESIDENT

BROWN & WILLIAMSON TOBACCO CO.

"With respect to marijuana, Reynolds is not now considering -- nor have we ever considered -- the eventual sale of any product containing marijuana any place in the world. The published rumors often include claims that Reynolds has registered trademarks on possible brand names for marijuana cigarettes and that the company has purchased tracts of land for growing marijuana. There is no truth in either claim."

W. S. SMITH, PRESIDENT

R. J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO.

"The simple fact is that marijuana is an illegal product. As a responsible company we have no interest in anything which is illegal here at Phillip Morris and we have held no discussions nor made any plans concerning the marketing of that product."

JOSEPH F. CULLMAN, 3RD, CHAIRMAN

PHILIP MORRIS, INC.

"We  have absolutely no intention of breaking any laws or circumventing them in any way. This obviously applies to the production and marketing of marijuana."

KEN MCALLISTER, PRESIDENT

LIGGETT & MYERS TOBACCO CO.

"We have on numerous occasions categorically denied any interest in or involvement with marijuana. We confirm that denial again."

CURTIS H. JUDGE, PRESIDENT

LORILLARD

"We are a responsible corporate citizen and, as such, American brands has no interest whatsoever in any illegal products, including marijuana."

ROBERT B. WALKER,

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD

AMERICAN BRANDS, INC.

Well, that's the record set straight, all right. We say: "famous last words."

Rolling Stone, 27 January 1977, p. 49

The Rolling Paper Revue

by Abe Peck

[Peck visited the headquarters of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in Arlington, Virginia.]

I looked up the trademarks for Acapulco Gold and Panama Red. And I found them! There was an Acapulco gold registered to Heublein Inc., of Hartford, Connecticut, the people behind everything from Kentucky Fried Chicken to premixed drinks. Another Acapulco Gold registry was held by Charmer Industries, a liquor distributor based in Smithtown, New York. And there was the Acapulco Gold trademark held by RD III Ventures of Great Neck, Long Island.

Panama Red was registered to Heads and Company of Indianapolis. And when I moved to less predictable color schemes, I found Jamaica Gold registered to Brick-Hanauer of Waltham, Massachusetts, and Tennessee Green held by a Nashville company of the same name.

There was only one hitch: the Acapulco Golds were, respectively, a chip dip, a tequila and a suntan oil. The Panama Red, a cologne. The Jamaica Gold, a cigar. The Tennessee Green, anticlimactically, a matchbook.

There were no marijuana registrations. And, if we believe C. Morten Wendt, the director of trademark examining operations, there won't be any until legalization, when and if.

Wendt's name reminded me of "C. W. Moss," Bonnie and Clyde's sidekick. Seated in his office down the hall from the Trademark Search room, Wendt himself, mid-50s, dapper, his hair neatly trimmed, looked a bit like the bankers the Barrow gang loved to visit. In a high-pitched voice, Wendt explained why it is currently impossible to register any trademark for marijuana.

"You see, the owner of a trademark acquires property rights through use of that mark before the public as a means of identifying goods. Now, trademarks for marijuana are  not registerable. The mark must be in lawful use in order to be registered. Our government has not legalized the sale of marijuana. Therefore," he said with the confidence of a man who lives by the rules, "marijuana is not a product that moves in commerce. Therefore it cannot have a registerable trademark."

Wendt asserted that nobody would use the name "Acapulco Gold" for marijuana even if it became legal. "It's more or less a generic term for it. And therefore, nobody has the exclusive right to the use of it."

I felt better. I couldn't register it, but neither could anybody else. But I recalled that Amorphia had raised money by selling Acapulco Gold rolling papers. I asked Wendt about it, and he replied that they never actually registered their common-law trademark.

"We would not register that," he said, "for the simple reason that we would say it would be deceptive."

"In the sense that it refers to a marijuana product?"

"Right," he answered.

Assassination buffs have "smoking pistol" theories to explain their conspiracies. I asked Wendt about what might be called a "smoking reefer" conspiracy -- that the cigarette companies have already registered the most commercial names that could be applied to marijuana.

"Oh that's all false! That's all false!" Wendt seemed genuinely angry. "For one thing, our records are open to the public. There is no such thing as reserving a mark. We have combated this story for the last 15 years, and so it is absolutely false.

"There's no protection given to tobacco companies, and they would never -- it would be very poor business if they were to take one of their known brands, their known trademarks, in the event that marijuana does become legal, and use it upon a marijuana cigarette."

"Where do you think this tobacco company rumor came from?"

"I don't know -- but honestly, I've been asked it by every one of the news syndicates and the New York Times and I don't know how many others."

I recalled a book called Pot Art, which quoted Ronald Reagan on the tobacco conspiracy. I gave the "smoking reefer" theory one last try.

"You know that Reagan said in 1972 that there are 14 tobacco companies which have trademarked marijuana."

"What," Wendt replied icily, "does Reagan know about trademarks?"

JACK ANDERSON'S column appeared the day after I typed up my notes on Crystal City. A call to his office revealed that the people who wrote and researched the column under Anderson's byline had no evidence that specific tobacco companies were preparing for marijuana cultivation on their land. "But," said Gary Cohn, the reporter on the story, "they all own land down there which, according to my sources, is perfectly convertible for grass." And Cohn made a new and interesting point:

"The way I understand it is that if the company has a trademark for a smoking product -- say cigars or cigarettes -- you can transfer it to another smoking product. That's what I believe and what some legal experts who've researched the matter have told me." Cohn agreed with Wendt's contention that liquor companies outside the smoker's article class wouldn't have a head start with their names if marijuana became legal. Companies like Acapulco and Tijuana Smalls cigars, though, might.

The image of a smoking reefer pervaded the room. I called Wendt back.

Though not an Anderson fan, Wendt admitted that the tobacco companies could potentially transfer their trademarks within the smoker's article class. But he made his own interesting point.

"I doubt if any one of them would transfer," he said. "Even if marijuana becomes popular, there's such a thing as the good will of the product. The product has been established as a tobacco product, and not everyone who smokes tobacco would want to smoke marijuana. I think it would be very poor business policy. If it was not labeled that the ingredient had been changed, the purchaser would have cause of action against the owner of the mark."

So there I was, blocked from making a fortune, with only the word of the director of trademark examining operations that the companies would respect the good will of their products as my consolation. It seemed like there was only one thing left to do, and I did it. That night, before going to sleep, I left a flowerpot with a hardy green weed in it on my hotel balcony. The next morning I rendezvoused with a Washington trademark attorney. Call him "Deep Toke."

"I have never done it for any of my clients," Deep Toke said about registering handy names. "And I'm not sure there's anything unethical about it. If you're talking about actually putting out a product -- Tijuana Smalls is an example. That's a very viable product. Now they picked a name for it that may provide some help if marijuana is ever legalized. But that's a very good product for that particular company, I'm sure, and their main interest is probably in cigars."

"In your opinion," I asked Deep Toke, "have tobacco companies registered names for marijuana?"

"My reply would be that they have registered a number of names that may be useful in connection with marijuana cigarettes if they were ever legalized. But I don't think that was their intention in doing it. I really don't."

Needless to say, it wasn't hard to get the tobacco companies to agree. "Our own company has no plans for the production of marijuana cigarettes," said Dan Provost, director of corporate communications for Liggett Group Inc., "and reliable sources have said that no other company has either." Harold Edison, trade-relations manager of the General Cigar and Tobacco Company, makers of Tijuana Smalls cigars, said, "We knew there was a danger with the name, that Tijuana had a reputation. But," he added, perhaps a bit too kind to our neighbor to the south, "we found that the name 'Tijuana' had merit aside from any drug aspect: it's associated with liveliness, youth and fun." The American Tobacco Company: "We don't discuss marijuana at all." [...]

Snakes in Water Tanks (Ghana)

http://www.dailyguideghana.com/?p=47785

Daily Guide [Ghana]

11 May 2012

Everpure Head To Court…Over Snake Allegations

MANAGEMENT of Everpure Purified Drinking Water has vehemently debunked wild allegations that the fast growing company has giant snakes in its huge water tanks.

The allegations are that the snakes make the water pure and sweet to drink. [...]

Hypnotized Woman Robbed in Boston's Chinatown

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1061129343

Boston Herald

5 May 2012

Police warn Chinatown of robbing hypnotists

By Matt Stout and Erin Smith

A 57-year-old Cantonese-speaking woman claims a trio of thieves hypnotized her into giving them $160,000 in life savings in a bizarre scam that has Chinatown leaders raising alarms about bewitching bamboozlers - and experts raising their eyebrows about the victim's spellbinding tale. [...]

Explosive Plastic Drink Bottles

http://www.pinejournal.com/event/article/id/26534/group/News/

Pine Journal [Cloquet, MN] | 3 May 2012

Email warning ‘explodes’ across the Internet

An emailed warning from the Carlton County Transportation Department took on a life of its own late last month, when word about the warning spread like wildfire … or like an email hoax.

By: Jana Peterson, Pine Journal

An emailed warning from the Carlton County Transportation Department took on a life of its own late last month, when word about the warning spread like wildfire … or like an email hoax.

In this case, the warning – cautioning people to beware of plastic drink bottles that could be filled with an explosive concoction made of three common household items – was not a hoax, but it was only a warning. [...]

Attempt to Abduct Israeli Girl at Disney World

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/155261

Arutz Sheva [Israel]

29 April 2012

Attempt to Abduct Israeli Girl at Disney World‎

By Gil Ronen

A nine-year-old Israeli girl was nearly abducted from her parents at Disney World, in Orlando, Florida, during the Pesach holiday

Channel 10 news reported that two Israeli parents and their two children were standing in line for one of the rides in the huge theme park when they discovered that their daughter had disappeared.

They immediately ran to the park's security officers, who locked all of the park's exit gates. The parents were taken to a control room, where they were asked to look for the girl on the numerous security cameras.

A few minutes later they located the girl in one of the park's rest rooms. Her head was half shaved, she had a tattered sweatshirt on and had been drugged. She was immediately taken to receive medical treatment. Her abductors vanished without a trace

The girl is now doing well and does not remember the incident. Her parents said that the security men told them that there is currently a rash of attempts to abduct children from the park and its surrounding area.

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/155300

Arutz Sheva [Israel]

30 April 2012

Channel 10 Runs 'Disney World Abduction' Hoax

Channel 10 suspended reporter Sivan Cohen on Monday after reporting on Sunday a well-known hoax claiming a 9-year old Israeli girl was nearly abducted at Disney World in Orlando.

The story was quoted by numerous Internet sources in Israel, including Arutz Sheva. The hoax, well-known in the United States, is not widely known in Israel. [...]

Phuket Rumors a Real Estate Racket

http://www.bangkokpost.com/breakingnews/290081/phuket-rumours-seen-as-real-estate-conspiracy

Bangkok Post

23 April 2012

Phuket rumours a real estate racket

The people who spread the rumours that Phuket will sink into the sea on April 28 are thought to be trying to make property prices on the tourist resort island fall for the sake of investment opportunities, the director of the Environmental Geology Bureau says. [...]

The leaflets warned Phuket residents to leave the tourist resort town before next Saturday because the island would be hit by such a severe natural disaster that it will sink into the sea.

The warning was claimed to be a prophecy of Kuan Yin (the Chinese goddess of mercy and compassion) and from Thao Thep Kasattri and Thao Sisunthon (also known as Chan and Mook), the two legendary heroines who rallied the islanders to drive back an invading Burmese army in 1785.

http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/290927/that-sinking-feeling-of-utter-disbelief

Bangkok Post

29 April 2012

That sinking feeling of utter disbelief

Piyaporn Wongruang

Rumours that spooked Phuket locals into believing the island was on the verge of armageddon came to an abrupt end yesterday when the latest hysteria about the island ''sinking'' proved to be nonsense. [...]

http://www.thephuketnews.com/surprise-phuket-fails-to-sink-30204.php

The Phuket News

29 April 2012

Surprise: Phuket fails to sink

PHUKET: The island witnessed a quiet and embarrassed exodus on Friday evening as its more credulous – or at least cautious – citizens headed across the Thepkrassatri Bridge into Phang Nga just in case Phuket sank under the warm azure waters of the Andaman Sea. [...]

Breastfed Turtles

http://www.informante.web.na/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=9809:myth-of-breast-sucking-turtle-resurfaces&catid=19:inside-pages&Itemid=100

Informanté [Namibia]
18 April 2012

Myth of breast-sucking turtle resurfaces

Written by Edson Haufiku

The urban myth surrounding a breast-sucking turtle allegedly forced onto young women by an unknown man has once again resurfaced after a Tsumeb resident and alleged victim, Lina Sames, related her ordeal on the NBC Damara/Nama radio service this week. Sames featured on Monday on the weekly radio programme ‘Crime and Society’, presented by Johannes Mushindi, alleging that she was forced by a middle-aged Indian man to breastfeed a small turtle that grew bigger with every suck. [...]

The folklore surrounding the breast-sucking turtle first surfaced late last year, after a young woman was lured with the promise of a shopping spree into breast-feeding a turtle on the northern outskirts of Windhoek. Although she was rumoured to have been admitted to Windhoek state hospital and later died, this could not be verified.

Woman in Porno Film Was Viewer's Wife

http://www.emirates247.com/crime/local/hubby-watching-porn-online-finds-film-starring-his-wife-2012-04-15-1.453767

Emirates 24/7 [Dubai]
15 April 2012

Hubby watching porn online finds film starring his wife

By Staff

An Egyptian man who went online to watch a porno film for the first time got the shock of his life when he found that the woman in the film was his own wife.

The man, identified as Ramadan, instantly collapsed in disbelief on the floor at an internet shop before coming round and rushing home to face his unfaithful wife. [...]

The Anatomist and the Drunk

http://newspaperarchive.com/evans-and-ruffys-farmers-journal/1817-10-20/page-5

The Farmer's Journal and Agricultural Advertizer (London), vol. X, No. 527, 20 Oct. 1817, p. 333 (middle column).

Last night some wags stripped a drunken man quite naked, put him into a sack, head and ears, and carried him in a coach to a celebrated anatomist in Blenheim Street, where they obtained the usual fee as for a dead subject. The surgeon then commanded his servant to tumble the sack down a flight of stone steps; but its inmate being now roused from his stupor, thrust his head and arms out, to the horror and astonishment of the surgeon and his attendant, and begged for mercy. He could not account for getting into such a situation; and the surgeon, after composing himself, had the mouth of the sack tied below the poor fellow's chin, and a hole for his feet cut through the bottom, and sent him in a coach to the watch-house.

[The same story appeared in The Bury and Norwich Post, 22 Oct 1817. See Richard Sugg, Mummies, Cannibals and Vampires, 95.]

U-Va. Historian Corrects Student Tour Guides

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/u-va-historian-debunks-campus-myths-for-student-tour-guides/2012/04/13/gIQAzTW0FT_story.html

The Washington Post
13 April 2012

U-Va. historian corrects student tour guides

By Jenna Johnson, The Washington Post

CHARLOTTESVILLE -- As the University of Virginia’s chief historian walked along the iconic campus Lawn one day years ago, he overheard a student tour guide explain the history of the Romance Pavilion: It was once home to a 19th-century professor and his beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a student whom her parents deemed unsuitable. She pined away for him and eventually died of a broken heart. Her spirit still haunts the pavilion.

No, no, no, Alexander G. “Sandy” Gilliam Jr. remembers thinking. It’s called the Romance Pavilion because Romance languages were once taught there.

“I took French there,” said Gilliam, 78, who graduated from U-Va. in 1955 with a history degree, returned in 1975 for a job and stuck around. Gilliam asked the head of the student guides to stop by his office -- and to bring a yellow tablet and pencil to take notes.

“They have very vivid imaginations,” said Gilliam, who was once a guide himself. “And you have to admire their inventiveness.” [...]

Child Abduction Rumors (Hong Kong)

http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Crime/Story/A1Story20120402-337111.html

AsiaOne [Singapore]
2 April 2012

Panic attack - child abductions rumours in HK

China Daily/Asia News Network

Alarming rumors of child abductions that have swept Hong Kong in recent weeks have turned out to be bogus. But experts say the stories reflect deep-rooted problems and spread so widely they risked plunging the city into a 'moral panic'. Simon Parry reports. [...]

"Turn that bloody phone off and come back to bed!"

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/column-8/column-8-20120327-1vwkw.html

Sydney Morning Herald
28 March 2012

Column 8

''After a busy day I settled down in my train from Southern Cross for a nap as far as my destination at Bendigo,'' writes Peter Nelson, ''when the chap sitting near me hauled out his mobile and started up. 'Hi darling it's Peter, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's the 6.30 not the 4.30, but I had a long meeting - no, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss. No darling, you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart', etc, etc. This was still going on at Sunbury, when the young woman opposite, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice 'Hey, Peter, turn that bloody phone off and come back to bed!''' [...]

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/column-8/column-8-20120328-1vyr4.html

Sydney Morning Herald
29 March 2012

Column 8

[...] Craig Preston, of Newtown, was one of many readers who gave Column 8 a right royal bucketing for running the first item in yesterday's column (''Put the phone down Peter and come back to bed!''). Quite apart from this anecdote doing the rounds of the internet for some weeks, we are told, Craig clinches its ancient origins by noting that ''the reference to the typing pool is a dead giveaway - who works in a typing pool these days?'' Hmm. It could be possible to date the story quite accurately on this basis - when in human history were typing pools and mobile phones in existence at the same time? [...]

Hot Tubs & Child Support

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120324

Dear Abby [syndicated advice column]
24 March 2012

[...] DEAR ABBY: As I was getting into a hot tub, a woman sitting in it said, "Are you prepared to pay child support?" When I asked what she meant, she replied, "Some women get pregnant from being in a hot tub with a man." Is that possible? -- JON IN CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA

DEAR JON: It's an urban myth. What happened was the women became pregnant after meeting a man in a hot tub.

Carjacker Sneaks into Back Seat at Red Light

http://siouxcityjournal.com/news/local/sioux-city-police-say-reported-back-seat-bandit-story-is/article_55eb6d1b-0df5-5f3a-bbc7-a8e55dee6577.html

Sioux City Journal [Iowa]
22 March 2012

Sioux City police say reported back-seat bandit story is fiction

By Nate Robson

SIOUX CITY -- Police said a revised version of a 50-year-old urban legend is circulating through Sioux City's social media circles, spooking drivers with tales of a back-seat bandit.

Whether on Facebook or through email, police said the story remains the same: A woman pulls up to a red light and the driver next to her rolls down his window to ask a question or for directions. As she talks to the driver, someone tries to sneak from the man's car into the back seat of hers. A nearby police officer sees the incident unfold and turns on his lights and sirens to scare the would-be culprits away. The officer then tells the woman the men wanted to steal her car and money. [...]

Olympic Rings

http://www.popbitch.com/home/2012/03/22/hugh-grants-karaoke-classic/

POPBITCH 22 March 2012
Issue 587

>> Olympic floater <<
Passed from ring to ring

Enormous Olympic rings have started popping up in London. There's a set at St Pancras, another recently floated down the Thames, and a third set will be suspended at Tower Bridge.

We're told that there's something special about one of the rings. Someone involved in their construction had a bit of a downer on the whole Olympics in London thing. So he took a shit inside one of the rings. And then had it welded shut.

Donut Shop Refuses to Service Military Members

http://www.weny.com/News-Local.asp?ARTICLE3864=9164593

WENY-TV [Horseheads, NY]
21 March 2012

Rumors Abound At Local Dunkin' Donuts (VIDEO)

Walter Smith-Randolph

ELMIRA, NY (WENY-TV) -- It started with Facebook comments then e-mails and even phone calls.

Several viewers wanted to let us know that two U.S. military members were allegedly denied service at the Dunkin’ Donuts on Church and Madison.

Here’s one: "Can you please look in to this story -- Dunkin’ Donuts in Elmira wouldn't serve military members in uniform."

Owners of the downtown Elmira store wouldn't speak with us on camera or by phone today.

They had us call a national spokesperson who released a statement, reading in part -- "We take matters like this very seriously and when we learned of the complaint we immediately conducted an investigation. The franchise owner has no record of an alleged incident, and assures us that this is not true." [...]

Bed Nets Harmful to Health

http://thecitizen.co.tz/news/-/20763-controversy-mars-distribution-of-bed-nets-in-isles

The Citizen [Tanzania]
19 March 2012

Controversy mars distribution of bed nets in Isles

By Salma Said, The Citizen Correspondent

Zanzibar. A Global Fund programme to distribute bed nets in every household in Zanzibar as part of efforts to control malaria has hit a snag following rumours here that the nets were harmful to human health. [...]

Some people who used the nets are believed to have suffocated and some have even died. However, there is no confirmation that the deaths were induced by the nets.

Some people believe that chemicals used to treat the nets cause impotence among men who use them. [...]

Athol

http://www.timescolonist.com/news/Mysterious+rumbles+bring+down+barn/6318605/story.html

Times Colonist [Victoria, BC, Canada]
17 March 2012

Mysterious rumbles bring down an old barn

By Jack Knox, Times Colonist

[...] [Sunday's] column mentioned the most totally awesome newspaper byline of all time: Athol P. Black of the Kamloops Sentinel. That led another journalist, Arthur Black, to recall the days when his Saltspring [Island] phone number was unlisted, but that of Athol Black, who had apparently moved to the island, was not.

When listeners offended by Arthur's CBC radio program Basic Black would dial up Information demanding a number for "Arthur Black, Saltspring," the operator would reply, "I do have an Athol Black on -"

"THAT'S THE ONE!" the caller would roar into the receiver. "THE ATHOL WHO HAS THAT RADIO SHOW!"

Arthur regrets that he never met Athol P. Black, thanked him for fielding the angry calls, or presented him with a bottle of single malt before he died.

Fishy Student Paper

http://opinion.inquirer.net/24903/urban-legends

Philippine Daily Inquirer
13 March 2012

Urban legends

By: Ambeth R. Ocampo

[...] One of the urban legends on me goes thus: For an exam I told students to describe the Battle of Mactan from the point of view of a fish. One student filled six pages of his blue book with “glub glub glub,” and wrote at the end: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand fish language.” I gave this student an “A” for effort, honesty and creativity.

The truth is that I gave the student a “C” for effort and wrote this on his paper: “If you can translate this into human language, I will give you an ‘A.’” [...]

Camel Spiders Invade Phoenix

http://www.wtsp.com/news/article/243048/58/Are-camel-spiders-invading-Phoenix

WTSP-TV [Tampa Bay, FL]
7 March 2012

Are camel spiders invading Phoenix?

Written by 10 News Staff

Phoenix -- A creepy rumor has begun circulating in Arizona: giant spiders native to Iraq are now making their home in Phoenix.

A service member contacted our sister station KPNX and told them that camel spiders had stowed away in the footlockers of returning troops and are taking up residence in Arizona. [...]

[A horror movie called Camel Spiders has just been released on DVD/Blue-ray. Its press release says, in part, "During a routine desert patrol, an U.S. Military unit headed by Captain Sturges (Krause) is ambushed by insurgents. Just when they seemed to be outgunned, the attack suddenly stops…and their would-be assassins are dragged off by what a native liaison calls “the devils of the sand.” Wounded in the battle, Sturges earns a ticket back home to the more hospitable deserts of the Southwestern United States.

"Bringing back one of his fallen comrades, Sturges doesn’t realize that a couple of camel spiders stowed away and now have access to an environment where they can breed at an exponential rate, freely hunting for prey and unafraid of any predator – including man.”]

Man's Kidney Stolen During Memory Loss (China)

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2012-02/25/content_14692889.htm

China Daily
25 February 2012

Man’s kidney stolen during memory loss

A man in Guangdong woke up to find his left kidney gone and an extra of 20,000 yuan ($3,176) in his pocket after a four-day memory loss, Nanfang Daily reported.

Shu, 28, had just come from Chongqing to Machong town in Guangdong to look for work. He remembered trying to rent a room before losing his memory, he said. [...]

KKK Tunnels Under Tillamook?

http://www.tillamookheadlightherald.com/news/article_f24d24b6-5840-11e1-bfd9-0019bb2963f4.html

Tillamook Headlight-Herald [OR]
15 February 2012

KKK tunnels under Tillamook? ODOT radar says not likely

Anthony Rimel

Most Tillamook residents have probably heard the legend - there are tunnels under the city. The story is the Ku Klux Klan built them as a part of some unknown clandestine plans.

The mystery of what's under Tillamook has recently had some intriguing new developments from an unexpected source - the Oregon Department of Transportation.

In preparation for the planned changes to Highway 101, ODOT hired a contractor to do some initial surveys using ground-penetrating microwave radar (GPMR) to look for basements underneath city sidewalks. The images produced by GPMR look like X-ray,s and the contractor will use software to combine the images with coordinate data to build a model of whatever is under the sidewalk.

Although the data is not yet completely compiled, initial results have not found much of anything that extends under the sidewalks.

Bill Johnston, an ODOT project manager, said basements of the buildings adjacent to the sidewalks they surveyed were intermittent, and not many of them extended under the sidewalk. [...]

Monkey Men (India)

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/index.aspx?page=article&sectid=2&contentid=2012020420120204020656769994353bb

Mumbai Mirror [India]
4 February 2012

Bhandup police left embarrassed as CP retracts promises

Yogesh Sadhwani and Nazia Sayed

Bhandup cops and Additional Commissioner of Police of the Eastern Region Quaiser Khalid were left red-faced when Police Commissioner Arup Patnaik pulled them up promising locals additional security in view of various rumours floating in the area.

For the past 10 days there have been rumours in Bhandup (W) that members of the Chaddi Baniyan gang were trying to break into houses and kill occupants before running away with valuables. Besides this, stories of monkey men, who can climb trees and jump over rooftops, have also left the residents unnerved. [...]

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/bhandup-cops-rapped-for-encouraging-monkey-men-rumours/908718/

Indian Express
7 February 2012

Bhandup cops rapped for ‘encouraging’ monkey men rumours

Express news service : Mumbai

The Bhandup cops were hauled up by the police top brass last week for falling prey to rumours that ‘monkey men’, who could climb tall trees with ease and jump over rooftops, were trying to break into homes and kill residents before committing robberies.

Believing such rumours, local residents armed with lathis started patrolling the area. Some of them, mistaking three men roaming in the area for robbers, also beat them up. One of those assaulted was mentally unstable.

What earned the Bhandup police a mouthful from the police headquarters was that they were encouraging such rumours through their actions. Policemen were visiting shoe shops in the area in an attempt to identify whether ‘shoes with special springs’ were being manufactured there, sources revealed. What also went against them was their decision to call in a snorkel ladder from the fire department to look for robbers, who they believed were hiding in tree-tops. [...]

http://www.mid-day.com/news/2012/feb/240212-Vampires-and-cannibals-prey-on-fear-in-the-Mumbai.htm

Mid-Day [India]
24 February 2012

Vampires and cannibals prey on fear in the Mumbai

By Varun Singh

Over the past week, the fertile imagination of Mumbai's collective consciousness has been in the feverish grip of some dreaded creatures. Vampires, cannibals and monkey men all appear to have chosen the city as the site for their spring rendezvous. While Mumbai cowers under the covers, cops are having a hard time laying their fears to rest. [...]

http://www.mid-day.com/news/2012/feb/240212-mumbai-police-ask-people-to-stop-believing-in-rumours-about-mystical-characters-lurking.htm

Mid-Day [India]
24 February 2012

Mumbai, don't believe in rumours

By Varun Singh

The Mumbai police has requested citizens of the city to stop believing in rumours that mystical characters like vampires, man-eating cannibals and a 'monkey man' are lurking the streets at night. [...]

http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/Mumbai/Police-quell-rumours-of-cannibal-monkey-man-on-prowl-in-city/Article1-817223.aspx
Hindustan Times
26 February 2012
Police quell rumours of cannibal ‘monkey man’ on prowl in city
Little Yadav, Hindustan Times

http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report_rumour-mongers-keep-mumbai-cops-on-their-toes_1655913

Daily News & Analysis [India]
28 February 2012

Rumour-mongers keep Mumbai cops on their toes

By Preety Acharya & Dayanand Kamath

Place: Mumbai. Agency: DNA

It’s not terrorism or some serious crime that is keeping the police on their toes, but a rumour mill that is rife in various parts of the city at about the same time. While the police are daily introduced to a new rumour, they are trying their level best to dissuade people from believing them.

It all started with the slum colonies of the eastern suburbs, including Chembur, Govandi, Tilak Nagar, Nehru Nagar and Chunabhati areas, which were abuzz with a gang of tribals swooping down on the areas to abduct children. Soon, the rumours moved westward, with the MIDC area reporting cases where residents keeping night vigils to keep out a suspected gang, members of which can reduce their height at will to target women. [...]

“While women in the area have stopped coming out of their house at night, everyday somebody approaches us with a new story, like the latest being about gang members with blackened faces wearing special shoes that enables them to reduce their height,” said senior inspector Suresh Hujband of the MIDC police. [...]

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/now-monkey-men-rumours-claim-two-lives-in-kandivali/918090/

The Indian Express
29 February 2012

Now, monkey men rumours claim two lives in Kandivali

Megha Sood : Mumbai

Though the Mumbai Police have dismissed rumours of ‘monkey men’ terrorising localities in the eastern and western suburbs, two men from Kandivali lost their lives on Monday night in the melee and stampede-like situation that followed an alleged sighting in the area.

Additional Commissioner of Police (North) Ramrao Pawar confirmed that such rumours were doing the rounds and they had asked people to stop believing them. While rumours that monkey men — who can climb tall trees with ease and jump over rooftops were trying to break into homes and kill residents before committing robberies — began from the Mulund-Bhandup area, they have now gradually spread to other areas, the police said. [...]

http://www.dnaindia.com/analysis/column_of-terrace-hopping-creatures-and-child-eating-ogres_1656422
Daily News & Analysis [India]
29 February 2012
Of terrace-hopping creatures & child-eating ogres
Manoj R Nair

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/West-too-rocked-by-rumours/articleshow/12078642.cms

Times of India
29 February 2012

West too rocked by rumours

TNN

MUMBAI: Rumours have travelled west in Mumbai. The buzz about men robbing homes and abducting children in the eastern suburbs has now reached the western suburbs creating panic among residents. The western suburbs are now agog with talk of the "monkey man" abducting children since the last one week. [...]

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/monkey-man-rumour-cops-arrest-72-in-crackdown/919324/

Indian Express
3 March 2012

‘Monkey man’ rumour: Cops arrest 72 in crackdown

Megha Sood : Mumbai

The Mumbai Police have finally cracked the whip on rumours about ‘monkey men’ and the ‘chaddi baniyan gang’ floated in city’s suburbs, by arresting 72 people for allegedly spreading the rumours. [...]

Bugger Nothing, Bugger All

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/column-8/column-8-20120202-1qvku.html

Sydney Morning Herald
3 February 2012

Column 8

''My uncle, a Changi POW, once told me of a funny incident that occurred in that dark place,'' recalls Tony Hunt, of Gordon, apropos nothing in particular. ''The Japanese commander, in an attempt to quell the Aussie inmates's irreverent attitude and thinking he had a fair grasp of their vernacular, assembled the recalcitrant rag-tag bunch and sternly lectured them about camp discipline. He never knew what he had said but it took half an hour to restore order when he finished with: 'In conclusion you think I know bugger nothing about your activities but, in reality, I know bugger all.'''

Hair Loss Caused by Tap Water (UAE)

http://www.emirates247.com/lifestyle/falling-hair-i-take-my-shower-with-me-wherever-i-go-2012-02-02-1.440857

Emirates 24/7 [Dubai]
2 February 2012

Falling Hair? I take my shower with me wherever I go
UAE residents primarily blame tap water for their hair loss but experts think otherwise

By Majorie van Leijen

It is an often heard rumor that the water streaming from the taps in the UAE is the cause of hair loss and an end number of solutions are available to avoid losing some more. How true is it?

Ask any woman who once came to the UAE for the first time, and she will tell you that it was her hair that was most unhappy with the change of place. Many women, as well as some men, claim to have suffered great loss of hair ever since they put their foot in the UAE. [...]