England Twice Beat Germany at Their National Game

1000 Jokes Magazine #44, Fall 1947, p. 48. German football (soccer) player: “We’ve beaten you at your national game!” English player’s response: “That may be. But we’ve beaten you at yours!”

https://www.pressreader.com/uk/daily-mail/20210503/282205128750034

Daily Mail, 30 July 1966

We have already twice beaten the Germans at their national game

By Vincent Mulchrone

 

[“If the Germans beat us at our national game today, we can always console ourselves with the fact that we have twice beaten them at theirs.”]

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/iron-lady-s-joking-aside-2vd3t79ss

The Times [London], 24 August 2019

THE TIMES DIARY

Iron lady’s joking aside

Jack Blackburn

Ken Clarke has the right attitude to funny but dubious stories. The broadcaster Iain Dale once asked him if it was true that, after England’s exit from the 1990 World Cup, Margaret Thatcher wanted to know why her ministers were glum. “The Germans have beaten us at our national sport,” Clarke supposedly replied.

“Don’t worry about that,” she said. “We’ve beaten them twice this century at theirs.” Clarke was disappointed, saying he had no recollection of this. “But,” he said, “it’s so good, I’m going to adopt it.” […]

Disbelief of Ritual Abuse – Accidental Cannibalism – Offside Rule Demonstration

Alison Miller is a clinical psychologist in Victoria, BC, Canada, specializing in clients who believe – either before or only after therapy – they were ritually abused as children by religious, military, political, or criminal groups. Miller takes at face value almost all of her clients’ horror stories but is resigned to the fact that the police and courts no longer seem to care much. She quotes one woman: “If a child says that daddy touched her pee-pee, the authorities take it seriously and remove that child. But if the child says daddy and mummy and granny and grandpa went out into the woods with some other people and sang strange songs and had sex with everyone and killed a dog, the authorities think that child is making things up.” Miller comments: “Sad, but often too true.”

Alison Miller, Becoming Yourself: Overcoming Mind Control and Ritual Abuse (London: Routledge, 2018 [2012]), 248.

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Ulrich Marzolph, 101 Middle Eastern Tales and Their Impact on Western Oral Tradition (Detroit: Wayne State University Press, 2020), 303. In a short essay on accidental cannibalism, Marzolph mentions a legend from Muhadarat al-udaba', an eleventh-century Arabic anthology, in which a travelling scholar visiting some Bedouins “picks small pieces of meat from a suspended cord and eats them. Only when he finished, an old woman informs him that she is responsible for the execution of circumcision (khatn) of the young women of her tribe, and that she kept the leftovers of the operation to remind her of the number of operations executed.”

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https://popbitch.com/emails/the-milk-of-human-weirdness/

Popbitch, Issue 1011

Play by pay

A rather suite story

Usually when you hear a story that starts with a record label boss throwing a party in their hotel suite, requesting that six call girls be sent up to the room, you don’t expect it to have the sort of ending you can repeat in polite company.

But when one of the founders of Global Underground did exactly that during a trip to Miami once, the only request he made of the women? That they help him demonstrate the offside rule to the Americans he was with.