Lincoln Park Brown

Jay Lynch, "Introduction," in James Danky & Denis Kitchen, eds., Underground Classics: The Transformation of Comics into Comix (New York: Abrams ComicArts, 2009), p. 14.

In '67, Skip Williamson and I started an underground humor mag called the Chicago Mirror. By the third issue of the Mirror, we were getting a little bit discouraged, though. It seemed that the hippies just didn't seem to grasp the concepts of satire. This was driven home to me one day when I was selling copies of the Mirror on the streets of Chicago's sixties hippie neighborhood known as Old Town.

At this time, the press had been reporting that some hippies had been drying and curing banana skins to smoke for a legal high. In the Mirror we ran a piece satirically stating that smoking dog poop would provide an excellent psychedelic experience. We went on to say that the best variety of dog poop was something called "Lincoln Park Brown," and we gave tongue-in-cheek instructions for preparing the poop for smoking. We said that the new breed of dog-poop smokers were known as "shit heads." Get it? "Pot heads"? "Shit heads"? It's satire, right? But then when I was selling the mag on the street, this hippie came up to me and said, "Hey, man! Thanks for the tip on how to cure dog poop! We've been smoking it all week, and it's groovy!" I tried to explain to the kid that it was satire and that he shouldn't really be smoking dog poop, but he wouldn't listen. Apparently he was too blissed out of his mind on the nitrogen content of dog feces to grasp my explanation.

Pumas Secretly Introduced to Pennsylvania

Fortean Times #257 (January 2010), p. 73.

Letters

Pennsylvania pumas

[Tamy Kay Thompson of Newport News, Virginia, writes that the Pennsylvania Game Commission once tried to cut down the deer population by secretly introducing pumas outfitted with tracking device collars. Although the cats were probably responsible for the subsequent spate of missing pets and livestock, authorities denied that any pumas were in the area. -- bc]

A short while later, a farmer shot and killed a puma as it prepared to maul his cattle. He removed its tracking device and buried the carcass under his manure pit. The next day, officials with the Game Commission showed up on his porch, demanding to know where the puma was located. The famer looked them straight in the eye and used their own words against them, "There aren't any pumas around here."

Heart Recipient Acquires Donor's Food Cravings

http://www.news.com.au/national/donors-heart-goes-on-with-burger-rings-craving/story-e6frfkvr-1225812992551

The Daily Telegraph [Sydney]
23 December 2009

Donor's heart goes on with Burger Rings craving

Richard Noone

[...] [Kaden Delaney's] parents Greg and Shelley spent two years finding David Waters, whose life was saved when he received their son's heart after he died in a car crash. But in an exchange of emails they learned Mr Waters amazingly had developed a taste for Burger Rings - which was Kaden's favourite snack treat. [...]

The Most Shoplifted Book

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/3670336/Jeffrey-Eugenides-Enduring-love.html

The Daily Telegraph [UK]
5 January 2008

Jeffrey Eugenides: Enduring love

By Mick Brown

[...] Jeffrey Eugenides has written just two books in the past 15 years. The first, The Virgin Suicides, a darkly comic fable of five suburban sisters who kill themselves, published in 1993, has sold more than a million copies, but also is said to hold the distinction of being the most shoplifted book of modern times. 'It's my most famous accolade,' Eugenides laughs, 'although Paul Auster claims one of his books is the most shoplifted. It's one of those things authors argue about.' [...]

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/books/review/Rabb-t.html?_r=3&partner=rss&emc=rss

New York Times
16 December 2009

Steal These Books

By MARGO RABB

[...] Although there’s no hard statistical evidence on most-stolen titles, The Telegraph of London reported last year that Jeffrey Eugenides’s novel “The Virgin Suicides” was said to be “the most shoplifted book of modern times.” Eugenides had heard this for many years. “I just assumed that the book appealed to the young and sticky-fingered to a certain extent,” he told me, with some amusement. Years ago, Eugenides was at a literary conference with Paul Auster, another top choice among literary thieves. “Paul and I argued about whose book was stolen more,” Eugenides said. “He claimed he was stolen a lot, I claimed I was stolen a lot. Back and forth. It was one of those deep intellectual conversations.” [...]

The Body in the Snow

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/yule-never-believe-this-story/article1406027/

The Globe and Mail [Toronto]
19 December 2009

Yule never believe this story

Tabatha Southey

[The columnist relates two of many legends told to her by a neighbor. 1) A couple on holiday in Florida made friends with another couple at their hotel and they arranged to babysit each other's kids on alternate nights. On the last night of their stay the Canadians went dining and dancing, but when they returned the other couple and all the children were nowhere to be found. 2) One Christmas Eve a man dutifully shoveling the driveway of his former house -- now his ex-wife's -- looked in a window and saw her and the man who had once been his best friend drinking champagne and dancing. The sight was too much for him; he had a heart attack and collapsed. "And it kept snowing and they never found him until spring."]

Pishtacos article

http://www.slate.com/id/2239003/

Slate Magazine

17 December 2009

The Human Grease Murders
A mysterious crime in Peru revives a vampire legend that's more than 400 years old.

By Daniel Engber

Sick Boy Gets Mail

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2009/12/internet_rumor_about_ill_mexic.html

The Post-Standard [Syracuse, NY]
17 December 2009

Internet rumor about ill Mexico boy snowballs into avalanche of Christmas cards

By Debra J. Groom / The Post-Standard

Mexico, NY -- Day after day, thousands of Christmas cards are delivered to Jacob Hadcock in Mexico. Cards are coming in from Central New York, every state in the United States and countries as far away as England, Australia and China. They come from people who think 4-year-old Jacob is dying. [...]

Bank Robber Hypnotized Tellers (Russia)

http://www.globalpost.com/mobile?mid=5110292

GlobalPost

5 December 2009

Bank robber hypnotized tellers

By Kevin O'Flynn
Special to GlobalPost

MOSCOW, Russia - Bank robbers have threatened tellers with knives, shot their way into banks and tunnelled up into vaults. But one woman in southern Russia chose a more peaceful method: Police say Galina Korzhova hypnotised a bank teller into handing over tens of thousands of dollars in what is believed to be just one in a series of daring, if non-violent, bank robberies. [...]

Disney Characters Are First on the Lifeboats

[From the POPBITCH Newsletter, 10 December 2009.]

Disney's mouse and duck get special treatment

"This might be a story that does the rounds within the Disney parks, but I'm assured rather sincerely by a friend who worked a stint at one of the Disneylands that it is true.

"If a Disney cruise ship ever needs to be evacuated at sea, the protocol is that the people who get the first lifeboat (before the women and children) are two Disney employees. These two employees are required to take one Mickey Mouse and one Donald Duck costume with them so that when/if the children arrive to safety they can be greeted by Mickey and Donald so that they don't get upset thinking that they have gone down with the ship."

Fumes from Burning Bins Intoxicate Teens

http://www.tamesideadvertiser.co.uk/news/s/1185588_dump_this_deadly_craze

Tameside Advertiser [UK]
10 December 2009

Dump this deadly craze

Sue Carr

YOUTHS setting fire to wheelie bins in an attempt to get ‘high’ are at risk of killing themselves, a fire chief has warned.

Blue bins, used for paper recycling, are at the centre of the latest craze among youngsters in Tameside who wrongly believe an urban myth that the combination of fumes from the paper and burning plastic will give them a hit. [...]

TV Remote Stuck Up Man's Ass

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-world/2009/12/10/chinese-man-gets-remote-control-stuck-in-bottom-after-drunk-prank-115875-21886936/

The Mirror [UK]
10 December 2009

Chinese man gets remote control stuck in bottom after drunk prank

[...] Nineteen-year-old Huang Chen mystified medics when he turned up drunk at Hunan Hangtian Hospital in Changsha, complaining of unexplained pain from his rear end.

While being examined, the tipsy student turned over in bed, and inadvertently changed channel on the ward's telly.

Astonishing X-rays later revealed that the teenager had a TV remote control lodged up his backside. [...]

Asian Restaurant Serves Dog Meat, Claims Leaflet (Bristol, UK)

http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/homepage/Bristol-restaurant-dogged-smear-campaign-offers-163-10-000-reward/article-1588618-detail/article.html

Bristol Evening Post [UK]
9 December 2009

Bristol restaurant dogged by smear campaign offers £10,000 reward

A £10,000 reward has been put up by a Bristol restaurant owner to track down the instigators of a smear campaign which claimed it served dog meat.

Several customers have called Asian restaurant Cosmo on Clifton Triangle to tell staff about a leaflet put through doors in the surrounding area, which says the venue has been closed by environmental health officers for serving "suspicious meat". [...]

Kidney Thefts (Malaysia)

http://www.mmail.com.my/content/21043-kidneys-gone-after-sex-prostitutes

The Malay Mail [Malaysia]
7 December 2009

KIDNEYS GONE AFTER SEX WITH PROSTITUTES
Two claims of organ harvesting in JB reported

Yushaimi Yahaya

KUALA LUMPUR: Two calls to his handphone yesterday by men claiming that syndicates in Johor Baru were "stealing" kidneys from those who visit prostitutes in the capital of Johor has set Datuk Michael Chong's alarm bells ringing.

Chong said in the first case, the caller claimed that his friend had visited a prostitute and ended up waking in a bath tub full of ice. [...]

http://www.mmail.com.my/content/21229-kidney-harvesting-urban-myth

The Malay Mail [Malaysia]
8 December 2009

Kidney harvesting an urban myth

MARHALIM ABAS

KUALA LUMPUR: Johor police have not received reports of organ harvesting in the state. [...]

McDonald's Applie Pies Contain Chayotes (Australia)

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/money/money-matters/are-there-chokos-in-mcdonalds-apple-pies/story-fn300aev-1225807413552

The Daily Telegraph [Australia]
6 December 2009

Are there chokos in McDonald's Apple Pies?

John Rolfe, Daily Telegraph

THE MYTH: McDonald's secretly uses chokos in its hot apple pies to cut costs. [...]

Burglars' Code (UK)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/6703441/Burglars-tag-homes-to-let-each-other-know-which-are-worth-stealing-from.html

The Daily Telegraph [UK]
2 December 2009

Burglars tag homes to let each other know which are worth stealing from

A gang of burglars have been scrawling coded messages in chalk outside homes to let each other know which are worth targeting, police have disclosed. [...]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/dec/03/burglars-code-chalk-marks-wall

The Guardian [UK]
3 December 2009

Is your home about to be burgled?
Chalk marks left by burglars on your walls could be a signal to rob you

Duncan Campbell

[...] Inspector Elaine Burtenshaw described the use of the symbols as "a troubling development". She is now asking local residents to alert the police if they spot them. This time the chalking of circles on the wall is said to mean that a wealthy person lives in the house, a circle with a cross over it denotes "nothing worth stealing", while others indicate whether the resident was "nervous and afraid" or has "already been burgled". [...]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1232496/The-Burglars-Code-Criminals-chalk-messages-pinpoint-targets-villains.html
Daily Mail [UK]
2 December 2009
The Burglars' Code: Criminals chalk messages which pinpoint targets for other villains

UPDATE: Peruvian Fat-stealing Gang

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1943539,00.html?xid=rss-topstories

TIME
1 December 2009

Peru's Fat-Stealing Gang: Crime or Cover-Up?

By Lucien Chauvin / Lima

Much of the world was shocked and titillated by news of alleged fat-stealing murderers in the Peruvian jungle. But the story may have a much more sinister underbelly. Could the allegation of homicidal liposuction possibly be a smokescreen to distract attention from other crimes, including, some local journalists say, the existence of a death squad that may be operating within the country's national police? [...]

http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/N01394292.htm

Reuters AlertNet
1 December 2009

Peru suspends cop behind gang of 'human fat sellers'

By Terry Wade

LIMA, Dec 1 (Reuters) - Peru suspended its top organized crime investigator on Tuesday after he misled the country by saying he had caught a gang of serial killers who acted out an ancient Andean legend and sold their victims' fat. [...]

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jZaOVgWyLvdQwV-K-yAXhCdG8N9gD9CAO4B00

The Associated Press

1 December 2009
Peru purges police, fat-stealing claims questioned
By ANDREW WHALEN (AP)

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jZaOVgWyLvdQwV-K-yAXhCdG8N9gD9CCP7N00

Associated Press
4 December 2009

Peru's fat hangover: Garcia denies police killings

By ANDREW WHALEN (AP)

LIMA, Peru — Peruvian President Alan Garcia denied Thursday that his government invented a tale about murderous fat-thieves to distract from allegations of police death squad killings, saying the claim was fundamentally true even if it became exaggerated. [...]

Serenity Prayer

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/28/us/28prayer.html?_r=1&ref=us

New York Times

28 November 2009

Serenity Prayer Skeptic Now Credits Niebuhr

By LAURIE GOODSTEIN

A Yale librarian who cast doubt last year on the origins of the Serenity Prayer, adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and reprinted on countless knickknacks, says new evidence has persuaded him to retain the famed Protestant theologian Reinhold Niebuhr as the author in the next edition of The Yale Book of Quotations. [...]

Garlic & Onions Prevent Swine Flu

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ijdkeoe-CqJgS7B8Sg38tmQaqrCwD9C2HSNO1

Associated Press
19 November 2009

Moldovan soldiers given onions to fight swine flu

CHISINAU, Moldova — Moldova's army is feeding its soldiers onions and garlic to help them ward off swine flu. [...]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/25/AR2009112503667.html?hpid=moreheadlines

Washington Post
26 November 2009

China sees huge rise in garlic prices
Speculators accused of cashing in on people's swine flu fears

By Robert Cookson and Patti Waldmeir
Washington Post Foreign Serivce

HONG KONG -- Garlic prices are hitting record highs in China, the world's biggest producer of the pungent bulbs, amid reports of a speculative bubble in the market even as people rush to buy it as a putative cure for swine flu. [...]

Sliced Tomato

http://www.nigerianmuse.com/20091127134354zg/articles/of-death-rumours-curses-and-superstitions

Nigerian Muse
27 November 2009

Of Death, Rumours, Curses And Superstitions

Akintokunbo Adejumo

[...] For many years now, the Nollywood actress, Sola Sobowale, popularly called Toyin Tomato has been rumoured as dead. It was said that she was arrested and beheaded in Saudi Arabia for committing drug related offences. Contrary to the rumours however, Toyin Tomato is still alive safe and sound. In fact I see her at Emukay Restaurant in London almost every weekend, the last being just last Friday. We are also constantly on the phone. She has never even been to Saudi Arabia, not to talk of being beheaded. For the past 3 years, everytime I visit Nigeria, people who know that I know Sola always ask me if the rumours were true, and I had to go to great lengths to deny this wicked rumour. [...]

Gang Initiation: Cop Claims He Was Attacked at Mall

http://www.bnd.com/breaking_news/story/1023092.html

Belleville News-Democrat [IL]
24 November 2009

Fairview police say there is no truth to officer's claim that he was attacked at mall

BY JACQUELINE LEE - News-Democrat

FAIRVIEW HEIGHTS -- Chief Ed Delmore said there is no truth to a widely circulated e-mail cautioning St. Clair Square shoppers that gang members are attacking patrons as initiation.

An off-duty Lebanon police officer mentioned in the e-mail told Fairview investigators he was attacked, but declined to file a police report and could not provide details of the crime, Delmore said. [...]

Greyhounds to be killed

http://gazettextra.com/weblogs/latest-news/2009/nov/27/greyhound-rumor-said-be-false/

The Janseville Gazette [WI]
27 November 2009

Greyhound rumor said to be false

By Associated Press

KENOSHA — A greyhound adoption group wants to silence rumors that hundreds of dogs could be put to sleep when Dairyland Greyhound Park in Kenosha closes. [...]

Blood-stained Concrete Removed

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/true-blood-what-the-forensic-pathologist-saw-1825727.html

The Independent [UK]
23 November 2009

True blood: What the forensic pathologist saw

It's splattered over vampire movies, TV shows and crime novels. But the bloody reality of guts and gore is even more fascinating than the fiction, writes New York pathologist Jonathan Hayes

[...] I've heard that when a member of one of New York's Orthodox Jewish sects (the Satmar and the Lubavitchers) is murdered on the street, their friends descend on the site with pick-axes to collect the blood-stained concrete; I've not seen that myself. [...]

Alligators in NYC Sewers

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/23/the-book-behind-the-sewer-alligator-legend/

New York Times
23 November 2009

The Book Behind the Sewer-Alligator Legend

By A. G. SULZBERGER

[An overview of the legend of alligators in New York City sewers.]

Murder Victims' Fat Used in Cosmetics (Peru)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/20/world/americas/20peru.html

New York Times
20 November 2009

Peru’s Police Say Gang Drained Victims’ Fat

LIMA, Peru (AP) — A gang in the remote Peruvian jungle has been killing people for their fat, the police said Thursday, accusing the gang’s members of draining fat from bodies and selling it on the black market for use in cosmetics.

Medical experts expressed skepticism, however, that a major market for fat might exist. [...]

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE5AJ2YB20091120
Reuters
20 November 2009
Gang accused of killing to sell human fat

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/southamerica/peru/6613600/Peruvian-gang-killed-victims-for-their-body-fat-police.html
Daily Telegraph [UK]
20 November 2009
Peruvian gang killed victims for their body fat, police

Fisherman's Friend Prevents Swine Flu

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2009/11/14/swine-flu-cure-rumours-send-sales-of-fisherman-s-friends-soaring-86908-21820882/

The Daily Record [UK]
14 November 2009

Swine flu 'cure' rumours send sales of Fisherman's Friends soaring

John Ferguson

FISHERMAN'S Friend lozenges are flying off shelves - because people think they might cure swine flu.

Makers have been forced to increase production of their aniseed variety after health fears sent sales of the iconic lozenges soaring by 43 per cent since June.

The key ingredient star anise - or pure aniseed - is also contained in the swine flu treatment Tamiflu. [...]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/11/14/fisherman-s-friend-sales-soar-because-people-think-they-might-cure-swine-flu-115875-21820586/

Daily Mirror [UK]
14 November 2009
Fisherman's Friend sales soar because people think they might cure swine flu
By Stephen White

http://www.thegrocer.co.uk/articles.aspx?page=articles&ID=204545
The Grocer [UK]

24 October 2009
Focus On Winter Remedies: Coughs and sneezes spread... um... sales
Vince Bamford, The Grocer

Child Abducted in Asda Store (UK)

http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/local-west-yorkshire-news/2009/11/14/asda-child-abduction-text-message-hoax-the-full-story-86081-25164844/

The Huddersfield Daily Examiner [UK]
14 November 2009

Asda child abduction text message hoax - the full story

by Anne-Marie Senior, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

SUPERMARKET chain Asda has quashed rumours of a child abduction at its Huddersfield store as “absolute nonsense.” [...]

The message in full: "Dear All. This is a very serious message that I hope you can pass on to as many people as you can.

“Last night at the big ASDA in Bradley a three-year-old girl went missing. Fortunately their policy when something like this happens is to lock the doors.

“The little girl was found in the toilets with two Romanian women, one shaving her head and the other dressing her in boys’ clothes. This comes from an employee who was there last night. Please pass the message round to as many as you can and remain extra vigilant with your own children.”

http://www.thisisleicestershire.co.uk/news/Hoax-messages-claim-child-abducted-Asda-stores-Leicestershire/article-1517902-detail/article.html
Leicester Mercury
16 November 2009
Hoax text messages claim child abducted at Asda stores in Leicestershire

Swine Flu Causes Surge of Garlic Sales in Serbia

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iUAA2GCLG-ftUe92AbU5GN4aC4vgD9BUMV9G5

The Associated Press
13 November 2009

Swine flu causes surge of garlic sales in Serbia

By DUSAN STOJANOVIC (AP)

[...] "Garlic is the best, forget the vaccines," said Marko Jankovic, an elderly Belgrader, with the pungent smell of garlic obvious as he spoke at the crowded Kaleniceva Pijaca market. "From the vaccine, you can get sick. From garlic, you can only get bad breath." [...]

Thatcher Is Dead

http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=2212398

National Post [Canada]
11 November 2009

Fur flies over death of 'Thatcher'

David Akin, Canwest News Service

OTTAWA • With lightning speed, it spread from BlackBerry to BlackBerry among the 2,000 or so Conservatives in black-tie on Tuesday evening at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre for the first True Patriot Love Tribute Dinner: "Thatcher has died." [...]

[Not Margaret Thatcher, it turned out, but Thatcher the cat, the 16-year-old pet owned by Canada's Transport Minister and named after the former British P.M.]

http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpress/article/ALeqM5jJzwSTLf4N1KE3qgmxc01QqZA3sQ
The Canadian Press
11 November 2009
Cat's demise prompts rumours of Thatcher death, causes fur to fly

Carjacking Warning (UK)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/6538358/Carjacking-warning.html

Daily Telegraph [UK]
11 November 2009

Carjacking warning
Drivers urged to be aware of potential car-theft scam.

By David Williams

Motorists have been warned to be wary of a new carjacking ruse in the run-up to Christmas.

Thieves are reportedly leaving notes or leaflets on the rear windows of parked cars. Drivers don't spot the piece of paper until they start the engine and look over their shoulder to manoeuvre.

When they get out to retrieve the note carjackers are reportedly pouncing into the driver's seat and making off with the car.

Details of the ruse have been widely circulated via an anonymous email. [...]

Drug Trafficker's Critic Gets Head Shaved (Mexico)

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-narco-women10-2009nov10,0,2499736.story

Los Angeles Times
10 November 2009

Women play a bigger role in Mexico's drug war

By Tracy Wilkinson

Reporting from Culiacan, Mexico - In the story making the rounds here in Mexico's drug capital, the setting is a beauty parlor. A woman with wealth obtained legally openly criticizes a younger patron who is married to a trafficker. The "narco-wife" orders the hairdresser to shave the first woman's head. Terrified, the hairdresser complies. [...]